Don't Eat Blood: Spirituality, Forgiveness, and the Art of Respectful Criticism (Parsha In-Focus: Tzav)

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.

00:10 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Good morning everybody. Welcome back to the Parsha Review Podcast. It's so wonderful to be here.

00:15
This week's Parsha is Parsha Tzav. It's the second portion in the book of Leviticus and, as we mentioned previously, the book of Genesis talks about the family of Israel, the structure of Israel. The second book, the book of Exodus, deals with the nation of Israel, and then this book of the Torah, leviticus, deals with the spirituality of Israel, the holiness of Israel. The Jewish people are getting the commandments from the Almighty of how to live holy lives, and that's the offerings, meaning repentance, the service of Hashem, which is today our prayers. We talk about holiness in what we eat, holiness in how we act, holiness in how we live our lives, and that's the book of Leviticus. Now, very interestingly, even some of the verses that are dealing with what you should or should not eat of an animal are not only taken literally, but taken also in a metaphor, so that we can understand beyond just what the words show us In translation. We know that there's pardes, the four different levels of understanding, which is the pshat, the regular basic understanding, the remez, the hints, the allegory, the drush, which is things you can learn, which is a little like the midrash, a little bit deeper, the story behind the story, and then you have the sod, which is the completely hidden, the Kabbalistic realm of our Torah and its wisdom.

01:58
So I want to share with you today, in chapter seven of this week's Parsha and this week's Parsha is a very special Parsha to me because it's my Bar Mitzvah Parsha, parsha Tzav. So just yesterday morning, monday and Thursday, we read only three aliyahs of the Torah, very short reading of the Torah, and then on Shabbos we read the whole portion. So it's been my go-to every year, my custom that I go and try to read the Torah. And yesterday, as I was about to like you know, let's go, I'm about to read my Bar Mitzvah Parsha there's another young child who you know came up and I said are you going to read? And he says yeah, I'm going to read, it's my Bar Mitzvah Parsha. I'm like, oh terrific, it's your Bar Mitzvah Parsha too. And you know, it's actually a very special Parsha that Hashem has blessed me to have as my Bar Mitzvah Parsha, because it's the only time in the Torah outside of Genesis that we have a very special tune called Shal Sheles, where it goes Ah ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ah. Hashem gave me. Everybody wants to have that in their parasha, and I had that.

03:27
So I want to read to you the verse that I want to talk about today. The verses are talking about where Hashem commands Moshe to tell the Jewish people Da'aber el b'nei, yisroel v'yi, da'aber Hashem o Moshe leimor. Hashem says in verse 22, in chapter 7, hashem spoke to Moshe saying speak to the children of Israel, saying the following any fat of the oxen, of the sheep, of the goats, you shall not eat. You don't eat the fats of those animals and the fat of an animal that died or the fat of an animal that has been torn to death. יְעַשֶלְכָּל, מְלָכָּה. May it be used for any purpose but for eating. וַע� Ki kol ochel chaylev min abehemo.

04:27
For anyone who eats the fat from an animal, asher yakir v'menu isha la'ashem, which one may bring from it a fire offering to Hashem v'nichriso ha'nefesh ha'ocheles me'ameo, cut off will be the soul that eats from its people. So just very interesting the soul that eats. What's the soul that eats? What's the soul that eats? What's the soul that eats? We know it's the person that eats, the physical body, the me I eat. What does it mean? The soul that eats?

04:56
Sages are hinting to us, the Torah hints to us. But our sages teach us this Food and eating is a very spiritual endeavor. We think it's physical oh, I have food, I can touch it, I can feel it. No, but it's spiritual energy, it's a spiritual force and therefore the verse tells us here v'nichrisa and kadof shall the soul that eats this mehameah from its people. Now I want to look at the next verse. That's just a side point.

05:30
You should know that food and eating is a very spiritual thing, which is why the Torah commands us, when the Torah is guiding us on the path of how to live a good life, as a Jew, torah says be careful of what you eat, because that's the food for your soul. And if you contaminate your soul, your soul won't be able to connect on a proper level with the Almighty. If you feed it the right things, then it's on a great journey. It has a better chance. The pipes of connection between us and the Almighty are all open.

06:06
Okay, but there's another thing that you can't eat, aside from the fats of those animals. The details of it we can learn in a different class. We can go through the details of that. But then it says Any blood. You shall not eat Any blood. You shall not eat Any blood. You shall not eat b'chol moshvo seichem la'of v'la'behema, of the fowl and of the animal in any of your dwelling places.

06:34
You don't eat blood. This is a known law in the Torah. We do not eat blood. If someone has a cut, you don't lick the blood from the wound, you wash it down. We do not eat blood. Period. What else, what else?

06:55
Very interestingly, we also know that before we can eat an animal that was slaughtered, we have to bring it. We have a shokhet who's a trained slaughterer, who knows the laws, who understands what needs to be done according to the Torah, before it's able to be fed to our guests on our tables it needs to be salted, it needs to be rinsed. There's a process. Why? What does the salting do? The salting extracts all the blood, because God commands us here in this verse do not eat the blood.

07:37
Okay, very interesting, very nice. What does that have to do with me? Now? Okay, I go to the store and I just buy the ready packaged kosher chicken, kosher meat. And now this verse is irrelevant to me because it's done, it's taken care of. So what is the Torah trying to teach me here?

07:54
We know that the Torah is not archaic, the Torah is not ancient. The Torah is relevant today. So what is this verse telling me? When we have empire chicken and Aaron's chicken and all of these great slaughterhouses that do all the work for us, we buy packaged meat and chicken. It's all ready to go. So what am I going to learn from this verse? So I want to share with you what the Talmud says.

08:23
The Talmud says I want to share with you what the Talmud says. The Talmud says V'chol dam lo socheilu and all blood you shall not eat is referring to not embarrassing your fellow, not embarrassing someone. The Talmud says that when someone is embarrassed publicly, it's like you've spilled their blood. It's like you've spilled their blood. Why? Because they've turned pale. What happened to their blood? It flushes out of their face. You killed them. You killed them. You killed them. You embarrass someone in public. You killed them. Sages tell us that the Talmud brings. It's better for a person to jump into a fiery furnace than to embarrass his fellow in public.

09:27
You know, one of our great Hasidic masters would say, says in Psalms I am but a worm and not a man. I'm nothing. I'm so insignificant, hashem, in front a man, I'm nothing. I'm so insignificant, hashem, in front of you. I'm nothing. I'm a little bug, I'm a little worm, I'm a little insect. I'm a nothing, I'm not an ish. I'm not a man, I'm nobody.

09:53
So the Hasidic master says as follows I'm so careful about not eating insects. You know how careful we are not to eat insects. It has to be checked and it has to be washed, and there's a process. By the way, just so that we understand, we're going to be talking in the next couple of weeks about the laws of kosher. You should just know all vegetables are kosher. If you're stuck on an island, you don't know what to eat. You can always eat fruits and vegetables, always. You can take a fruit off a tree, pay for it, obviously, but all fruits, all vegetables, always kosher, 100% of the time, except if they have little insects. They have little bugs, they have little worms, they have little things. You've got to be very careful that we're not allowed to eat, and there's such a huge emphasis not to defile our bodies by eating things that the Torah says not to eat like insects. We don't need insects.

10:54
If you look at the bags of lettuce, go to the store, look at the bag. You'll see there are bugs in there. Look at the bag, just on the bag. You don't have to be some rabbi, just look at the bag. You can see already. So what do you need to do? You got to bring it home, wash it really well. Look to the light or to the sun. You can see right through. If there's any little bugs, you'll be able to see the bugs in the thing. You wash it a little bit more, you get those bugs out and then enjoy your lettuce. And with strawberries you have the same thing. And with every single fruit and vegetable you have to ensure that there isn't any bug or worm in it. So our great sages tell us I'm so careful about not eating insects, but I'm not concerned about eating up my fellow man, meaning embarrassing them. That's what we need to be careful of. We're so careful not to eat, but are we careful not to speak about another person, about embarrassing another person, harming another person, insulting another person Let embarrassing another person, harming another person, insulting another person, let alone doing it publicly we see how much we need to be careful about another human being's dignity.

12:13
You know something that may not be known to all about the story of Balaam Balaam. What was Balaam? Balaam was a prophet. He was hired by King Balak. To what? To curse the Jewish people. Here's a great sum of money and go curse the Jewish people. I don't like the Jewish people. Go curse them. I'm a member of the UN. I despise the Jewish people. I want to just curse the Jewish people. So they hire Balaam to go curse the Jewish people. What happens?

12:42
Balaam is on his way and the donkey stops and the donkey is not moving. Then the donkey slams his leg into the wall because the donkey sees something that Balaam doesn't see. He sees an angel standing in front of him. What happens? Balaam starts hitting his donkey. What's wrong with you? Why did you smash my leg? So the donkey starts speaking to him. The donkey starts talking. Now what's not known is that the donkey was put to death immediately. An angel came and killed the donkey.

13:15
Why Be careful about embarrassing him. Be careful about embarrassing him. Be careful about embarrassing him. Our sages tell us that, although the donkey was giving proper criticism to Balaam, he was going to be embarrassed from it and therefore the donkey needed to be put to death to avoid harming who? A wicked guy who was about to curse the Jewish people? Yeah, but even then, we have to be careful about someone else's embarrassment, someone else's dignity Even more so. This is a low life, a low life. Prophet of the nations of the world. Imagine how much more careful we need to be before embarrassing someone who's the son of Abraham, isaac and Jacob, someone who is a Jewish person, someone who's part of our nation, not to embarrass them. You don't need to agree with everybody, you don't need to think like everyone, you don't need to vote like everyone, but to embarrass another person?

14:23
We see an amazing story in our Torah of how Tamar was, who had a relationship with Judah, who was one of the tribes. She was pregnant with twins from Judah. She was a member, judah was her father-in-law, her ex-father-in-law, because his two sons that were married to her. One son died, ere died, onan married, her died, and now she had a prophecy that the lineage of the kings of Judah were going to come from her King David as well, from her and Judah. So she was with Judah and she became pregnant with twins. What happens?

15:19
Judah gets a tale. Someone tells him you know your former daughter-in-law, she's pregnant. He's like what? She's pregnant. How'd she get pregnant? Judah didn't know that. He was with her. He had no idea.

15:34
So Judah was a righteous scholar. He holds a court case and says okay, she needs to be put to death. So they bring her. What does she say? She doesn't say you were the one who slept with me. She doesn't say that she takes the stick, the staff that he left by her, and he says this staff, whoever owns this staff, is the one who made me pregnant. She didn't embarrass him publicly. And she said this is the term she says If he admits, yodah, but if he doesn't admit, let them burn me, me and my two, my two twins that are inside my belly. It's not worth life if I'm going to embarrass somebody in public. That's the extent of greatness that we need to learn. We, we don't eat blood. What does that mean? We don't spill someone else's blood. We don't embarrass someone. What came out of her? All the kings of Judah came from her. It's unbelievable.

16:55
Now we have an obligation in the Torah to criticize those who need criticism appropriately. Hokech tochech, as a Misecha, you're obligated. You see someone doing something wrong? You're obligated to say something. But what does the Talmud tell us? The Talmud tells us, just like there's a mitzvah to criticize someone who does something wrong, who will listen, there's a mitzvah not to say anything to someone who will not accept Tractate Yevamot 62b. The Talmud says if you know that the person will not listen, you're not allowed to say anything. It's a mitzvah to keep your mouth shut if you know they're not going to accept. And if you know that they will accept, then there's a mitzvah, you're obligated to tell them.

17:49
So the obvious question is how do I know? How do I know if they're going to accept it? So there's a couple of things. First is you have to know the person. You have no business criticizing a stranger. Excuse me, that's not the way you should be treating your child. What do we know?

18:05
We see a little glimpse, one second. We're walking around the supermarket and we're saying oh, that's not the way you should behave. What do you mean? Why are you criticizing a total stranger? So imagine it's someone we know. Imagine it's our spouse, imagine it's our child or our parent. You're obligated only if they're going to accept.

18:28
How do I know if they're going to accept? Well, you know them. You know there's certain people who will accept. Not only that, there's certain people who will thank you. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Thank you for alerting me to my mistake. There are some people who are magnanimous, they're kind, like that and they're accepting. They're like oh, thank you for making me a better person. But we all know there are some people who won't appreciate the gesture and there are some people who saying to them such a thing is like tearing their heart out. How can you say such a thing to me? Do you know how insulted I am? Do you know how hurt such a case? Or if you don't know the person well enough, there's a mitzvah not to reprimand them such a case. Or if you don't know the person well enough, there's a mitzvah not to reprimand them.

19:22
You have to know who you're talking to. You have to know, even if it's the right thing to say, it might be the wrong time to say it. Even if it's the right thing to say, it might be the wrong way to say it. Even if it's the right thing to say you might be the wrong way to say it. Even if it's the right thing to say, you might be the wrong messenger to say it. There's a right time and a right place for everything and there's a right messenger for everything. A person needs to know their place. A person needs to know.

19:51
You know, I've asked this is not a criticism, but I've asked dozens and dozens of people the same question. If you cooked for your husband a dinner and they didn't like it, would you want to know? A hundred percent said the same answer. Of course I'd want to know. I want him to be happy, I want him to enjoy it, but he sure better be careful how he says it. And I think not only that is they better be careful when they say it. I think right then is the wrong time to say it.

20:31
You can wait a week or two or three when there's another superb dinner that you love. Then you can say this dinner is the greatest dinner ever. And anytime you want to make a dinner, make this one. You remember that one you made three weeks ago. It doesn't compare to this one. And then she's like you didn't like that one. I liked that one, but it wasn't the same as this, so you don't want me to make that one. I liked that one, but it wasn't the same as this, so you don't want me to make that one. I prefer this one a lot more.

20:59
It's a very different way. Why? Because then, when you cooked it or baked it or whatever it is, you're busy thinking, you're busy working, you're busy, you know spending a lot of time on it. You're emotionally invested in this. Now is not the time to say it Three weeks later, when you get the compliment for the beautiful, delicious dinner that you had tonight. It's a different story about that one. It's in the history, it's in the past. But people like right now, I'm going to fix everything right now. No, there's a right time, there's a right place, there's a right way to do things and it can come. Not that it's a backhanded, not that it's not being direct and not being you're being direct, but you're also being sensitive for someone else's feelings. There's a right way that something could be said and there's many wrong ways that something could be said.

21:55
And if someone is embarrassed in public, if someone is embarrassed in public, so let's say you're in synagogue and someone comes up to you in synagogue and says that is the ugliest dress I've ever seen and you're like you could have told me that on the side, you could have. You didn't have to say that like that. You know it's like embarrass me in front of everybody. What do Chazal, what do our sages tell us about this? Someone who's embarrassed in public is among the righteous of the righteous. If you're embarrassed publicly, it's the highest level of holiness. Why? Because someone who's embarrassed, their blood was spilled.

22:44
It says that death is an atonement for all of our sins. When someone is embarrassed publicly and they don't respond, they just take it. They're forgiven of all their sins. You almost want to go around and tell people like can you embarrass me? Just embarrass me, take your best shot. Like embarrass me in public, in front of everyone. Why? Because it atones for all of our sins.

23:13
And there are stories that are told of people who came to the rabbi crying. I can't believe someone did this to me. I was in front of all of my friends and they humiliated me and they embarrassed me. And the rabbi said did you respond? He says no, I didn't respond. He says in that case, don't come to me for a blessing. I'm coming to you. The rabbi said. You put your hands on my head and you give me a blessing. Me give you a blessing, yes, because you've been forgiven of all your sins. You're the holiest of the holy. So I think it's a very important lesson from this week's Parsha. You don't eat blood. You don't embarrass someone. When you embarrass someone, you're spilling their blood. When you embarrass somebody, you're spilling their blood.

24:07
And when they don't answer, yes, you have a mitzvah to reprimand someone. It's a mitzvah in the Torah. It's a commandment, just like it's a commandment to keep the Shabbos. It's a commandment to keepand someone. It's a mitzvah in the Torah. It's a commandment. Just like it's a commandment to keep the Shabbos. It's a commandment to keep kosher.

24:24
It's a commandment to reprimand someone and to criticize someone who's due criticism. But there's a proper way to do it. And if we do it the wrong way and we embarrass someone, we gave them a free ticket. A free ticket. Let's not be that messenger. But if we are the recipients of someone giving us harsh criticism and embarrassing us in public and we don't respond, all of our sins are forgiven, all of our sins are forgotten. So, my dear friends, let's have an amazing Shabbos. Let's take this lesson as an opportunity for us to strengthen the way we interact with our fellow man. Let's be careful. Kid gloves oh, they're a grown adult, they can handle it. Not everyone can handle it. We don't know if it's the right time, we don't know if it's the right place. We don't know if it's the right words. Let's be very careful not to spill someone else's blood. My dear friends, have a great Shabbos!

Don't Eat Blood: Spirituality, Forgiveness, and the Art of Respectful Criticism (Parsha In-Focus: Tzav)