Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection

00:03 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Everyday Judaism Podcast.

00:12 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Alright, everybody, welcome back to the Everyday Judaism Podcast. It is so wonderful to be here this beautiful Sunday morning. We are in the middle of the laws of the Mourner's, kaddish. This is Simeon 26, chapter 26. We're up to Halacha, number 14. Before we continue, I just want to recap what we've discussed till now.

00:31
After someone passes away, it is appropriate for their living descendants, for their living family members, to recite Kaddish in their memory. Why? Our sages tell us many stories in Midrash, how, when reciting the Kaddish, it elevates the soul that is already passed on and it gets that soul. Why? Because Kaddish is it gets that soul to reach greater heights and closeness to Hashem. Why? Because Kaddish declares that Hashem is one and that Hashem is the creator of heaven and earth, and that God's name should be glorified, and it should, it should continue to expand over the entire world and all of the worlds. So by declaring that Hashem is our God, by declaring all of this, what are we doing? We're saying, and we're doing it in memory of the person who is deceased, the person who's passed on. So this becomes a great revelation of Hashem's name and it is really, really special. Therefore, when someone comes to synagogue, so we also said thank you so much. You are so special, we missed you here.

01:41
Therefore, our sages tell us that when there are different stages of mourning when someone passes away, there's the first seven days of mourning, which is the most intense. There's we're sitting low on the ground, uh, we're not wearing shoes, we don't, we don't bathe normally the way we typically do. There's laws of actual mourning. Then you, you have the 30 days, and then you have the year, and then you have the annual anniversary, which is called the yahrzeit of the day in which they passed. So what happens during the seven days? It is the most severe time of mourning, time of mourning. And, by the way, just so that you know also, psychologists say that proper mourning is tremendously healthy. Tremendously healthy. It helps you recover, it helps you move on, get back to life. In fact, at the end of the shiva, at the end of the seven days of mourning, those mourners stand up, so they're no longer sitting, they stand up and they walk around the block. Specifically, why do they walk around the block? It's time to get back to life. It's time to slowly get back to life. The first three days of the seven days are the most intense to life. The first three days of the seven days are the most intense. Then you have the remaining four days and now it's time to get back into life, and getting back into life is part of the healing process.

03:17
A person can't stay cloistered in their home and locked up and just crying all day. You have to get back to work. You got to get back to life. During the seven days of mourning. There's no work, everything shuts down. Now you're just focusing on the deceased. But when we recite the Kaddish, so typically we have a minion in the home of the Shiva. The Shiva house has a minion morning, afternoon, evening. If that's not possible, then the mourner goes to the synagogue morning, afternoon, evening. If that's not possible, then the mourner goes to the synagogue.

03:49
Now what the halacha focuses on a lot is who has priority of Kaddish in the synagogue? Now, this was specifically in the congregations where one person recited the Kaddish, but in most congregations today this is not relevant, because everyone who is a mourner or has yard site recites Kaddish together. In fact, in many congregations because of this problem, why would? Why would there only be one person? Because if one person is on that side of the synagogue, you have this sometimes in like a big con, a big, big synagogue. So you have one person reciting Kaddish in the front left corner and one person reciting Kaddish on the rear right corner. They can't even hear each other. So this one is up to this part, this one is up to that. But you have half the congregation saying Amen here, half the congregation saying Amen there, and it becomes confusing and it becomes very difficult for the congregation to in unison, with one voice, declare Hashem is one right. When we say that God's name should be glorified in all of the worlds, in this world and in all of the worlds, we want to declare that in unity, as one congregation. If you have two people reciting Kaddish on two opposite sides of the synagogue, one person doesn't hear the other. It's not intentional, but it becomes a mess. So in many congregations they have a custom that all those reciting Kaddish come to the bimah and they recite it together at the bimah. That way they're able to hear each other, they're able to recite it together, they're able to recite it together and everyone is able to respond together to the Kaddish of the mourners.

05:28
Now, because today everyone recites the Kaddish together, these laws are not applicable in that sense, but it's important for us to know priorities, because it's not only priorities in who gets the K, it's also priorities in our sympathy If you have the ability to comfort someone. There are different priorities in how that goes okay. For example, last week we discussed that someone who has a yard site and someone who's in the 30 days, the yard site goes first. Why? Because the 30-day guy tomorrow is still in his 30 days, but the yardortzeit guy tomorrow, it's done, right, the anniversary is done, it's passed, so it doesn't apply to him anymore. So you understand. So there's sensitivity to how this needs to. You know who gets the priority. Again, in our synagogues today, the custom is that everybody recites the Kaddish together. So these laws aren't as applicable.

06:29
Number 14, halacha. Number 14 in Simeon. 26. Misha Yochov Aroi. Lehispal Lefnei Ateva, a mourner who is able and worthy of leading the prayer as the Chazen. Yispal Shaduso U'mol Yoser.

06:42
This is even a greater benefit to the soul that has departed than just reciting the mourner's Kaddish, as the Kaddish was originally instituted only for the minors, for young children who lost parents. Why? Because the children, the minors, aren't able to lead the service. So for them, the Kaddish was instituted, for them to recite the Kaddish, however, one who was unable to lead the prayers for the entire service, for whatever reason. This person can't, either his reading isn't up to par with leading the congregation or if he is nervous. There are some people who are very, very nervous about leading the service. So what do they do? So they can take the last part of the prayer, which is the Asherah of Olitzion, and they can only do that part. Lead the service for that. To have someone else lead the first part of the prayer, which is the Ashrei of Olitzion, and they can only do that part. Lead the service for that. To have someone else lead the first part of the prayer. U'mi she'yeshlo schus, yosef be'kadeshim.

07:51
Whoever has a greater precedence in regard to the reciting of Kadesh k'gon ben shiva u'shloshim, such as a mourner within Shiva or a mourner within Shloshim, the 30 days or the 7 days, is entitled to a greater precedence regarding prayer as well and serving as Chazan. With regard to prayer, it is custom that an actual mourner in the seven days does not lead the service On Shabbos and Yom Tov. However, if even before becoming a mourner, he was the ordinary chazen, people like the way he davens, they like the way he leads the services. So we want him to pray like he does it normally. Then, even during the time of his mourning, he's able to lead the services because people enjoy the pleasant voice and the way he leads the services. So in such a case, even if a person is within the seven days of mourning, he can lead the services.

09:08
Halacha number 15. Shnayim sheshovim b'din kadash, two mourners who are equal status in regard to the recitation of kadash, u'shneim yecholim le'espal ufnei teva, and both are capable of serving as chazen. U'merutzim b'shov al serving as chazen, and both of them are equally acceptable to the congregation to serve in this capacity. They should cast lots over who should lead the prayers and begin from the beginning of the service, that one should lead the services till the last part of Ashrei and Revolet Zion, and the other should lead from Ashrei through the end of davening. If one is unable to lead the prayer services or he's not acceptable to the congregation, people don't like the way he davens, people don't like whatever. It is that the people are not as comfortable as not desiring of this second person to the and the other mourner led the prayers. The one who led the prayers has not forfeited thereby his rights to the Kaddish, one should find in their heart to yield and allow the Kaddish to be recited by the mourner who has not led the prayer, and certainly he should yield to minors who cannot lead the prayers.

10:38
So if it means, you know, there have been times where people would arrive at the synagogue, two mourners would arrive to the bima, to the place where the chazen would lead, at the same time, and they're both like I have a yard site and the other one's like I have a yard site, and it goes back and forth. Right. So each one is doing it out of the goodness of their heart, because they want their mother, their grandmother, whoever it is that they're praying, as their yard site in their merit. They want them to have an aliyah I. So once a beautiful thing where an individual said you know something, I want you to daven. Right, it means they both obligated, so I want you to daven. He says well, why are you just giving it up, like that? He says because I know that my father would want me to give it up for you. That's the greatest honor and we have to find a way. People sometimes get locked, you know. You get so focused on I have to do this for my father or mother or someone beloved who has passed, and therefore I have to be the chazen. It's okay, sometimes taking the high road is a greater merit for the deceased. So a person needs to think about that.

11:47
Halacha number 16. We just have six more. Mi shehu avel, one who is in mourning, al aviv, v'gam al imo, on both his father and his mother, mekom okom ein lo schus yoser doesn't have a greater entitlement to the privilege of leading the services, betfilos ve'kadeshim, to leading the prayers and reciting the Kaddish. Mish'ar avel, then another mourner, mish'um dizikaron echad, for one act performed as a memorial, or l'lakan. L'lakan can accomplish a merit for this soul as well as that soul. So it doesn't mean meaning just because you have two. I know someone, actually, who has both his parents passed away on the same day, so he has two Yahr Zayt's on one day. So what is he going to do? It's considered one memory, so you don't have to recite an extra Kaddish for the other one. No, that one is for both of them. Okay, it's very powerful. You should just know the power of Kaddish is something which is exceptional.

12:50
God willing, in three weeks we're going to focus a lot in our prayer podcast on the Kaddish. This week we're going to do Eizu Makomam, which is a Mishnah in Zvachim that we in Tractate Zivachim, which is in our Korbanot, in our offerings section of the prayer in the morning. Then we're going to talk about the 13, the 13 principles of Torah. That's part of the prayer as well. And then we're going to talk about the Kaddish, and the Kaddish is just so powerful that sometimes we don't even realize.

13:28
My grandfather says that if you want to really connect with Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur one time a day, one time a day during the month of Elul focus on the words of Amen, yehosham and Rabba One time a day. And we say Amen 30 times a day to write to the Kaddish when we're in synagogue morning, afternoon, evening. There's about 30 Kadeshim that we say one time, saying Amen Yeheishmei Rabbah, with focus, understanding what we're saying. You can look at the beautiful Art Scroll translation. It is magnificent. I highly recommend it. But we'll be discussing it, god willing, in the prayer podcast in a couple of weeks, so join us there, okay?

14:13
So we said that the Kaddish and the prayer works for both both parents. If someone has Kaddish, that needs to be recited for both parents. Number 17 it is a custom that Kaddish that needs to be recited for both parents Number 17, it is a custom that Kaddish is recited for only 11 months after a parent's death. The reason for this custom is to avoid establishing one's parents as great sinners, because the punishment for evil people in Gehenna is 12 months. If someone passed away, for example, on the 10th of Shabbat, on the 9th of Teves, they should cease to recite Kaddish. That's one month before the Yodzeit, and on the 10th of Teves he should no longer recite Kaddish. That's one month before the Yotzeit. U'biyut tevis lo yomar, and on the 10th of Tevis he should no longer recite Kaddish. Doha havi yom rishon bechodesh shnei moshe, because that's the first day of the 12th month. V'yom echad bechodesh choshov chodesh, and a single day of the month is considered a full month in some contexts Ve'havi ki ilu amar shnei masach chodesh. And it'll be as if he had recited Kaddish for 12 months. And now you think that perhaps your parent is an evildoer, a wicked person, because a wicked person is judged for 12 months. A righteous person is only for 11 months With respect to these laws.

15:43
I'm going to tell you an amazing story in a minute. When do they count? They count from the day of burial, not from the day of death. This is relevant most times.

15:53
In Jewish custom, we make the funeral as soon as possible, the burial as soon as possible In Jerusalem. They don't even leave a body overnight. If someone passes away at 11 o'clock at night, the funeral is still that night. And my grandfather passed away at night and they asked the leading rabbi of the generation, rabbi Yasha, what should they do and he said his funeral should be the next morning. And it was. It should be the next morning and it was. It was actually the next morning, but they took the body out of Jerusalem for the night. Why? Because he was such a prominent rabbi. He had about a quarter of a million people at his funeral, because he was so prominent. They felt it wouldn't be an honor, it would be a disrespect if they just did the quick funeral the way typically people do it right. So they took his body out of Jerusalem and then brought it back in for the funeral, which was the next morning, and that was a very, very special thing to have.

16:52
You know people. Imagine someone who was a close student who lived up in Haifa. It takes a three-hour drive or four-hour drive sometimes and wouldn't be able to make it for the funeral. He didn't even know about it. By the time they find out he's already buried. So they ensure that the people, particularly for someone who's so holy and so righteous and so well-known that I remember I was by Reb Shlomo Zalman Orbach's funeral.

17:19
I'm telling you that was the biggest funeral I've ever seen, like the entire city of Jerusalem was shut down and you had every shape and size of person there. You had from the holiest to the simplest, to the most righteous to the most irreligious. To you name it. Everybody was at that funeral and it was the most beautifulreligious. To you name it. Everybody was at that funeral and it was the most beautiful thing because everybody respected and everyone regarded Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Arbach to be a man of peace, a man who was well beyond the lines of religious, non-religious. You know Shomer Shabbos, non-shomer Shabbos. He loved everyone, he greeted everyone with a beautiful countenance and everybody ad adored Rav Shlomo Zalman Arbach On every level. People felt very, very close.

18:06
So therefore, and I remember coming back from the funeral I was in yeshiva at the time and one of the guys they're like, you know, sometimes you come to a crossing like no, no, please go ahead. No, no guys, you know they're like. You know, sometimes you come to a crossing like no, no, please go ahead. No, no, no, you go ahead. So one guy insisted. He says no, no, no, you go ahead. So the guy went ahead. He says I want to have one more person by my funeral. I'm going to do another mitzvah, I'm going to do one more kind deed, right, and it has a tremendous power.

18:35
It's not an honor for Jerusalem that there be a body just lying there. Jerusalem is the city of holiness and a deceased body is the opposite of holiness, because it has no more potential. We can get into this on a greater level. I'm sure the question will come up in our Ask Away series, number 17,. So we will discuss it. But yes, so therefore you take the body out of Jerusalem it shouldn't be a disrespect to the holiness of Jerusalem and then they bring it back for that.

19:06
But yeah, there is a setup for it. You know, in certain scenarios I mean, obviously, if someone passes away at 2 o'clock in the morning, they're going to wait till the morning, right, but if it's 11 o'clock at night even, I know many situations where they do it right away. There's no time to waste because also, it's a delay for the neshama receiving its judgment and till the body isn't in the earth, isn't buried, it's hovering, it's in a state of difficulty, so you want to give it as quickly as possible. There's another time where it takes longer is if someone decides to have their burial in Jerusalem and they live out of Israel. So if someone lives out of Israel, it's going to take a day and a half to get the body prepared, to get it on a plane, fly it to israel and um, and that's that's problematic, because it's not problematic. But you'll count. You know I, I know someone who did that recently that there were some of the siblings, uh, who stayed in the united states, so they started the shiva the day of the funeral here and some of the siblings went to Israel with the coffin so they started the shiva a day and a half later when the burial happened. So those who escort the body to the airport, that's when they begin, because to them that's already the send-off is already when the burial is. I hope it's not confusing here. If it's confusing, we'll get to it, I'm sure in the questions. Okay, well, with respect to these laws, we count from the day of burial and not from the day of death. Okay, so we already gave this example. If he was buried on the 11th of Shabbat, then he ceases reciting Kaddish on the 10th of Teves, because the punishment in Gehenna does not begin until after the burial. Okay, after the burial. If it was a leap year, until after the burial. Okay, after the burial. V'im ha'is ha'shanamu u'beris. If it was a leap year, posek tes kislev, then he stops reciting Kaddish on the 9th of Kislev. You always count just 11 months.

21:31
I'll share with you just the story that I said I was going to share with you is my grandfather left in his will that his children should recite Kaddish for him for 12 months because he's not righteous. So my father had a big dilemma. What should he do? Because someone who sees him reciting Kaddish doesn't know that my grandfather left it in his will that it should be for 12 months, and they'll think that, oh, look at this son who thinks his father was a sinner, he thinks his father was a wicked person and he's residing in Kaddish for him for 12 months, and this is a big problem. So my father went and had the question asked to Rabbi Yashiv. Rabbi Yashiv said to indeed fulfill the will of my grandfather, and anybody who knows who my grandfather was would know that he made that request. And there's many people of that caliber of righteousness who have made that request that they wanted for 12 months because they really really, really deeply felt that they did not fulfill their mission in this world and didn't maximize their potential, in which case the heavenly courts will have a complaint against them.

22:42
Now there's another thing, is that my grandfather requested that there not be any eulogies. No eulogies, why? And it turns out, my grandfather got his wish because he passed away on the holiday of Passover and during the holiday, you don't eulogize by halacha Halacha you're not allowed to. So they don't eulogize by halacha Halacha you're not allowed to. So they didn't eulogize. He got his wish. Why not? Because it says that the heavenly court records those eulogies and says, when the court case comes.

23:15
Well, this is what they said about you. Okay, was this true or were you just making it up? You made people think that you were righteous, you made people think that you were honest, you made people think that you were good, and you really weren't being truthful with people. And you're talking about God, the knower of all truth, god, the knower of everything that goes on. So my grandfather said do not eulogize me, because I don't want to be held accountable to all the nonsense that people might say in the eulogy, because they're gonna make me into some right, something that I'm not. There's another point about this is that that eulogies in in general, they have to be very, very, very truthful, and they truthful, and you have to be very careful what you say. You have to be very, very careful what is said at a eulogy, because we are held accountable. We are held accountable. There's something else that slipped my mind right now. We'll get to it hopefully. I'm sure in the questions it'll come out Okay, v'yom zeh shuhu po sikpo.

24:17
On the day that the mourner ceases to recite Kaddish, he's entitled to recite every Kaddish Again. This is not applicable today, because everyone recites all the Kaddish together in synagogue, with the exception to one Kaddish that you give to someone else who is a Yortzeit observer of their entitletut V'chein v'ven shloshim, someone who is in the 30 days of mourning, v'im yeish kam a Yartzeit ob b'nei shloshim. Or if there are several people who have a Yartzeit or several people who are in their shloshim and they will not all be able to recite the Kaddish, nitche hu mipnehem ligamre. Then the mourner who is reciting Kaddish for the final day is displaced by them. Mish yodea, one who knows be'aveh v'imo, that his father and mother sheho yerushayim, that they were great sinners, me'oson she nidonim b'shnei masachadash, and they should. They will probably be judged for 12 months and they'll be punished for 12 months. It is appropriate, and therefore he is obligated, to Yomer Kaddish. Shem HaSachodesh, he should indeed recite Kaddish for 12 months and that will be a merit for them.

25:33
Now I'll tell you the story that I just remembered. If you go to Har Menuchos, which is the Mount of Resting in the entrance to Jerusalem, that is the Mount of Resting in the entrance to Jerusalem, that's the biggest cemetery in Israel, and you go to my grandfather's gravesite, you'll see that there are many, many rabbis who have many, many titles the great master of Torah, the great, this, the great scholar, and they were. They were indeed. My grandfather asked for nothing more than Rav, rabbi, that's it. Not the holy, the saintly, the da, da, da. Nothing, just Rav.

26:16
Okay, it actually says Rebbe Shlomo Volbe Zal of blessed memory, not of blessed. Rebbe Shlomo Volbe Zal of blessed memory, not of blessed, righteous, glorified memory. Not all that. Why? Because he didn't want that. He said not to add even the Tzadik to his initials. They do Zatzal, like of righteous memory, of holy, righteous memory. None of that. He wanted Zal just of blessed memory. None of that, just of blessed memory. That's it why. Because he felt he wasn't a tzaddik, so he wasn't trying to be humble. And you know what's very interesting, there are different sections, there are thousands of sections. In his section, almost every single one of the rabbis had the same exact thing. All very, very righteous, accomplished scholars, accomplished people Like. The amount of Torah that is buried there is just unbelievable. They're all just simple a blessed memory, that's it, nothing, no extra titles, and that's something to behold. All right.

27:26
When there are heaven forbid a situation where there are many mourners present, it is very, very, very important that they not get to quarrels and arguments over precedence in reciting Kaddish. And it is custom in many places that many people recite the Kaddish together. Okay, and that's the way we. Why? So that way there isn't any complication, there isn't any argument that nobody needs to fight over who gets the merit of reciting Kaddish for their beloved ones. Halacha, number 19. If there is not present at the synagogue, one who is mourning their father or mother, the mourner's Kaddish should be recited by Misha'in Lo'avaim, by someone who's not necessarily in the mourning phase or in the yard site, but someone who lost a father and mother a different time should recite the Kaddish Be'ad kol mei seisrol on behalf of all the deceased Jews. Be'esh mekomot shen Jews.

28:42
Some communities have the custom that the other relatives recite Kaddish for their deceased relatives other than fathers and mothers, when there are no mourners reciting Kaddish for their fathers or mothers. When there are no mourners reciting Kaddish for their fathers or mothers, even when there are mourners who are mourners of their fathers and mothers, if there is someone present who would like to recite Kaddish for his grandfather or grandmother who have died without living children, he says the grandchild or after their son or daughter who had passed away and didn't have children, the mourners should allow them to recite the Kaddish because they have all recited Kaddish. They have all recited one Kaddish. They leave recite the Kaddish Because they have all recited Kaddish. They've all recited one Kaddish. They leave them one Kaddish.

29:45
There are some communities that have a custom that relatives recite Kaddish as well, even where there are people who are mourning their parents are present. They should compromise between them She'en omrim kol kach kadeshim, that they don't say too many kadeshim when there are others. K'mo ha'aveilim al'ava'im, as do mourners for a father or mother. V'hol chim chol zeh achar ha'minog, and everyone should follow the custom of the community. U'bulvach she'hei minak kavua ba'ir. As long as there is an established custom in the community, you follow that custom. So the best thing for anyone who's passed on from this world is to not have a fight because of them. That will not be a merit for them. So, oh, I so strongly want to recite the Kaddish. It'll be such a great merit for those who are deceased. Yeah, but it's not a merit to fight. It's not a good thing. Therefore, do whatever you can Find a way for it to be peaceful and for there not to be any discord because of it.

30:50
Number 20. And we have only three more left Habas, einla Lomar, Kaddish Bebesa Knesset, whose daughter does not recite Kaddish in the synagogue, ach Yesh Omem. However, there are those who say she imrotsim lasos minyon bebesa, that if they want to assemble a minyon in her house, she can say it there. Haroshus beyodom, she's permitted to do so. V'yesh omim. Other authorities say, however, the gamzot sem, that she should not recite it alone in her house. What women do typically is that they recite it together, because everyone's reciting in unison. So the woman will recite it together with everyone else.

31:29
Halacha, number 21, one who observed the Yartzeit and is not able to recite the Kaddish, someone who's traveling. I have to read you an email I just got this morning, absolutely incredible. You'll see it in a second. Or he did not receive an opportunity to recite Kaddish because there were many Yartzeit observers present. He can still recite Kaddish the Mariv after the evening service, after the Yartzeit, and that will apply and be helpful for the neshama. I got an email.

32:03
I don't have my phone with me right here, but I got a message this morning from a friend of mine who says that in the end of December he's going to be taking a cruise out of Galveston with friends, and the friend just realized that he has yard sight right before the cruise departs and for the evening service they'll be here already in Houston, so they'll be able to do the evening service. The morning service they'll be in Houston, they'll be able to do it, but then they board the ship and there's not going to be a minion. And he asked me for we're talking about December, which is how many months, three months from now For December if I can reserve seven people who can drive down to Galveston so that he can have the minion right before he boards the cruise. And he says I'm willing to pay, I just need to recite this Kaddish for Mincha right before he gets on the cruise. And I think that that's the most incredible thing. It really is so special that someone is so careful that they're thinking, three months ahead, I'm going to have Yartzeit and I may not have a minyan. He wants to figure out how he's going to have that minyan. So I think that this is to really understand the power, the power that we have when we recite a Kaddish. We're bringing God's presence into this world, we're bringing godliness in and we're sharing it with the entire world, which is why the halacha says, the Talmud says that anyone who recites Kaddish, amen Yehishmei Rabbah, anyone who recites Kaddish, amen Yehoshamay Rabbah, with all of his might, with all of his might, they tear up all the decrees against him, all of the decrees.

33:52
Why? Because what happens when someone recites Amen, yehoshamay Rabbah? When someone says Amen, truth, yehoshamay Rabbah, may his great name be blessed forever and ever. May his great name be blessed forever and ever. Do you know what that means? We're saying Hashem's name should be blessed forever and ever. That means everywhere around the world. Just those words. Say it with all your might. Or say to say it either means physically, with all our might, that we scream it out. But many of the commentaries say, with all focus and intention, don't just say the words. If you focus on every word, it tears up all decrees. How powerful that is. It's an unbelievable opportunity that we have to tear up all decrees. And finally, the last halacha in this simen and congratulations to everyone, because with this we're going to conclude the first book of the Art Scrolls series of the Kitzah Shulchan Aruch and, god willing, next week we'll already begin the second book, afal pi.

34:55
Although, as we have learned sha'amiras ha-kadash v'atfilos that reciting the Kaddish and leading the prayers that it is a great benefit to the souls of the departed parents, nevertheless, we have to also remember that this is not the main way to accomplish this. This is not the only way Is that the children not only show up once a year, but that they follow in the footsteps of their ancestors in action, not just once a year. I'm going to be good because it's my parents' yahrzeit. I'm going to show up to synagogue Every day. Every day. Show up Even when it's not their yahrzeit, to follow in their footsteps, as by doing so they provide merit to their parents.

35:48
This is what it says in the Zohar A son must accord honor to his father. As it states, you shall honor your father and mother. This is Exodus 20, verse 12. This verse is explained as referring to honoring them with food and drink and in all of these forms of honor we're obligated, when they're alive, during their lifetime, of their parents. So we have to bring them food, we have to bring them drinks, we have to dress them, stand up for them, honor them, u'basar demis, but after they pass on from this world, after their death. O te'ma hapatur hu.

36:39
If you suggest that a person is then absolved from the obligation to honor their father and mother, it's not. So you're not. That obligation to honor your father and mother isn't absolved because, even though the parents have passed on and they're no longer living, he is obligated to honor them even more now that they're passed on. Why you shall honor your father, for if the son follows a sinful path, he certainly is shaming his father. If a person strays off the path, then it's a shame for the father. This is definitely going to be an embarrassment to the father. And if the son be an embarrassment to the father V'i hahu bra'ozil be'orach, mishor v'takin avodav. And if the son follows the straight path and his actions are proper va'detaka oyker lavuyi then definitely it is an honor to the father.

37:57
Oyker le'be hayamo gabe be'nosha. Indeed, he accords him honor in this world among people, because people see, wow, look, he raised a great child. Look at him, he's God-fearing and he's involved in the Jewish community in Jewish observance. It also accords him honor in the Jewish community in Jewish observance. Oyker le'eh b'ahu almo g'abe kut shabrichu. It also accords him honor in the next world before the Holy One blessed is he that the Almighty says you didn't just bring children to this world, but you brought children to this world who still glorify my name every day. That is the greatest privilege to the parents who are passed on.

38:38
V'kut shabrichu, chas aleh. The Holy One blessed is he then has mercy on the father and mother, v'ayisiv leh v'kursi diikra v'adai, and certainly places him in an honorable seat next to the Holy Throne. Ad kam leshonu and this is what the Zohar says till this point V'yesh l'ol adam. Therefore, it is an appropriate thing for each person to instruct his children before he dies, to strengthen their observance in a specific mitzvah, and if they fulfill that mitzvah, that fulfillment of that mitzvah is greater than the that they recite, and this is an excellent manner of earning merit for the parents, and this is true even if someone has only sons or only daughters. Them following in their ways is an absolutely incredible, incredible merit to them after they pass.

39:41
Not only the Kaddish that we recite, but also the actions. And it's so incredible what the Zohar teaches us here that we need to be careful, not only the Kaddish, the Kaddish, the Kaddish yes, that's great but the everyday life, the everyday life, to ensure that we live up to the standards of the Torah that our parents raised us on. Yeah, I had someone tell me. He says yeah, my mom used to feed us kosher, but I don't do kosher anymore. Right, you know what a merit that would be to the mother in heaven.

40:13
God says look at your children they are doing kosher. Look at your children they are doing Shabbos. Look at your children they are giving charity. Look at your children they are doing Shabbos. Look at your children they are giving charity. Look at your children they are following in your footsteps. That is the greatest merit, more than just reciting the Kaddish, and this is how the author of the Kitzel, shulchan Orch, recites the concludes this chapter.

40:36
I think that it's such an incredible privilege for us to learn these things, to understand the power of the actions that we have in this world. We're all you know, I was once here in this parking lot, right here by the Torch Center, and I saw a bumper sticker, and the bumper sticker had grass, a side view of the grass, and on top of it it said good and beneath it it said bad. So you know, as long as we're on top of the grass, we can do good things. As long as we're on top of the grass, we can do things not only for ourselves, but for our ancestors, for our parents, for our grandparents, for our great-grandparents that now in the heavenly realms they call them in. They say, hey, hey, hey, hey, rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, look, look at what's going on down there. Look, hopefully, your children, your grandchildren, are following in your footsteps. They're teaching Torah, they're doing good things. They say, oh, you did your job and hopefully each one of our parents and grandparents and great-grandparents can benefit from that.

41:39
That we're sitting here today and we're learning Torah. That's an amazing thing. Don't think that it's not valuable. Oh, I'm not a. No, you are. You're here. You had an entire day.

41:48
You could have been watching today news. You could have been today doing pre-game for the Texans. You could have been doing a lot of things today and you decided to stop everything to come learn Torah. Have been doing a lot of things today and you decided to stop everything to come learn Torah. And that's a merit to our ancestors up in heaven that they're being called into the heavenly chambers saying hey, hey, hey, you just got an upgrade. What upgrade? I'm not a member to get a free upgrade. I'm like no, no, no. Look at you, look at what your children are doing down there. Look, they're learning Torah. You're getting a free upgrade.

42:20
It's an amazing thing. It's an amazing thing and that when we do our good deeds, do them. We don't have to do them for them. Just the fact that we do them is a tremendous merit. Hashem should bless us all that we should all merit to continue doing great, great, great things every single day of our lives. Don't do it for anyone else. Do it for your relationship with Hashem, and that will be a merit to everybody who knows you, those who are alive and those who aren't. Amen, my dear friends, have an amazing week. We're going to begin the Ask Away series momentarily. To those of you on Facebook, youtube, twitter and all of the other social media platforms, please join us live again.

43:03 - Intro (Announcement)
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