Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection

Way number seven is with humility. Humility, what is humility? Some people think that humility means, I don't talk about the things that I do. I don't say anything out loud and I'm not showing off anything. Can one be proud and also be humble? The answer is yes. What is humility? Let me give you, before I read my notes and talk about this, I wanna give you my idea on humility. Humility in simple words means that I recognize that everything is from the Almighty.
And if I recognize that everything is from the Almighty, I have nothing to show off about. Yes, I can be proud of my accomplishments, recognizing that everything is a gift from Hashem. There's nothing wrong with a person celebrating a victory, but recognizing alongside that, that the victory is because of the Almighty giving you the ability to accomplish those great things. So if someone was gifted with an incredible capacity for science or for writing or for singing and they're just as good as everybody else,
did they, you know, and they're given capacity way beyond everybody else. Just because they win this competition doesn't make them great, because they have so much more they were supposed to accomplish. We have to recognize that this is, humility means that I recognize that I have my own mission. I have my own set of tools and I'm not going to be rated based on everyone else. You know, they have, for children, they have the percentile. Oh, they're at the 65th percentile.
They're at the 25th percentile in height or this, you know, they have a weight, they have this percentile, the average of human beings. But if God gave you superhuman abilities, being at the 50th percentile of everyone else, you're a failure. Because God gave you a thousand above everyone else. And a person needs to recognize, I have my responsibilities and just because I'm equal to everyone else doesn't make me okay. I need to excel if God gave me special talents.
That's why if you look at the sages, the great Torah masters, they always considered themselves as if they were inadequate, not because they were trying to, oh, I'm going to play the humble game. That wasn't the idea. They realized and recognized they were given special talents and special abilities. I have no right to take credit for that. I was given that. Now, if I really excelled, I would be even greater. But look at me, I'm a nobody. My grandfather would say that.
Me? Who was he, right? He felt about himself that he was very small because he was given enormous, enormous, you know, he happened to have been a giant, not only in his capability, but in his productivity. Things that he wrote and that he spoke and he worked and did endlessly his entire life. So humility is not about saying, no, no, no, I'm a nobody. Humility is recognizing that everything is a gift from Hashem. And if everything is a gift from Hashem,
who am I to take credit for it? It's like, imagine a child whose father succeeded in business and he goes around showing off like he did something. What did you do? You did nothing. You didn't accomplish, you didn't work, get a job. I will say, I know this is not a Torah source, but I think it's a very good example that's being set. Some of you have heard of Shaq, right? Shaquille O'Neal is a great basketball player.
And he was interviewed once and they asked him, so do you give your children money? He said, my children, I told them that they don't get any money. They cannot touch my money unless they give me two degrees, a bachelor's degree and a master's degree. And until they don't give me that, they cannot touch my money. So he's demanding, you go and you're going to have to accomplish and you're going to have to work hard. You're not going to get a free ride
just because your father is successful. And it's an important thing for us to realize and internalize this idea that just because we were gifted doesn't mean we're great. On the contrary, we're so much more obligated because of it. So man needs to be humble before other people and this will help him accept and learn from others, even someone younger or smaller. Humility is allowing others in. And you know, has anyone been in the room with an arrogant person?
What they do is they suck the air out of the room. You can't say anything because I'm the greatest and I've done the greatest things and I'm the most accomplished and I am me, me, me, me, me. Everybody else doesn't exist. Someone who's humble lets other people shine and they let other people because they realize that what I have is nothing incredible. All I have is what God gave me and that's the greatest gift. You can't grow if you don't have humility.
Just by the way, if you don't have humility, not only you can't grow spiritually, you can't pray. Because what is prayer? Prayer means I realize I need to have a relationship with the Almighty. I need to talk to Him. I need to ask Him. I need to put in my requests. If I feel like I'm so great and I'm so high on my horse, I can't ask. I can't bring myself to a point where I can have that humility that's required.
It says, from all my students, I have learned. I've learned from all my students. Why? That's a great sign of humility. I'm the teacher here. No, no, no, no, no. We can learn from everyone. Why was Moses chosen to be the leader and to receive the Torah? Because he was humble. Moshe, in fact, do you know why it's called the five books of Moses? Why isn't it called the five books of Torah? It's called the five books of Torah's Moshe, it's called.
Know why? Because Moshe said, this is, he gave credit to the Almighty. When the Almighty's transcribing and Moshe's writing, he didn't take credit for it. It's like, it's mine, it's me, it's not, no, no, no. It's Hashem's. Hashem says, oh, you realize your place. You have the proper humility. It's gonna be on your name. That's the reward. Why was Mount Sinai chosen? Because it was most humble. It was a small, small mountain. We're gonna see, we're gonna talk about this more
when we get closer to the holiday of Shavuot. You know, the Torah, the celebration of the holiday of Shavuot always coincides with the Parshah of Bamidbar. Bamidbar means in the desert. The book of Numbers starts with a portion of Bamidbar, and our sages teach us that in order, it's a prerequisite to receiving the Torah. But the Jewish people receive the Torah on the holiday of Shavuot, and it coincides with the Midbar, which is the desert, to tell us you need to make yourself humble
like the desert. The desert is humble. You need to make yourself humble like the desert in order to receive the Torah. And we see also, God displayed his own humility in the creation of man. In Genesis, God says, naaseh adam, let us make man. He included the angels. What do you guys think? That's an added sign of humility. A humble person is one who knows his place and doesn't think of himself greater than they really are.
Humility is required to believe in God, not only to pray to God, to believe in God. You need to realize that there's something greater beyond you. A person, if a person believes in his heart that he is greater than another person, it'll be smart for them, at least not to verbalize it. Don't say it. No need to say it. We say a beautiful idea in Eshet Chayil. We're gonna sing this tonight around our Shabbos tables. We sing, it's Proverbs chapter 31.
It's a special song written, according to our sages, it was written actually by Sarah, Abraham's wife, but included in King Solomon's work in Proverbs. We say over there an incredible verse. Sheker hachen vehevel hayofi. False is grace and beauty is lies. But, isha yirat Hashem hitetalal. But a God-fearing woman, she's praiseworthy. What is grace and what is beauty? Grace and beauty are things that you either have it or you don't. You either got it as a gift from the Almighty or you don't.
Our sages tell us. What Proverbs is teaching us here, that to praise someone for their beauty or their grace, what did they do to accomplish that? Nothing, nothing. They didn't do anything to accomplish it. Praising that is false. That's a lie because they didn't do anything for it. But isha yirat Hashem, someone who's a God-fearing person, that takes hard work. That is praiseworthy. That is something we praise. You see someone who has a challenge with anger and they're able to overcome it,
that is something that deserves a party, a celebration because that takes hard work. Use your skills and talents and remember that they're a gift from God. You know, I remember one of my favorite heroes as a child was the great pitcher Mariano Rivera for the New York Yankees. He has the world record in the most closes, the most saves. He saved the most games, an incredibly talented and he came from a very, very poor background.
And when he retired, when he had that last pitch, the last game that he played, he was pulled off onto, you know, in front with a microphone and they're like, how did you do all this? And how did you accomplish your great career and all of these milestones that you've shattered all the records? You know what he said? I said, it's the most beautiful thing. He said, don't make me like I'm some hero. He says, this was a gift from God.
He said, I can show you the pitch exactly the way I throw the pitch, but God has to bless it. There are many people who can throw the pitch exactly the way he does, that the exact technique that he does, but you have to have the blessing of God. I think it's a very, very important, especially someone who's accomplished so much. You hear people in football, you know, so how did you catch that football? You know, we do a lot of practice
and you know, it's like many years I've been working on this. Me, me, me, you hear them talking about I and me, right? And there's sometimes people say, that has nothing to do with me. This is a total gift from the Almighty. And it's a very important lesson for us to understand. You know, in the temple, there were two families who were extremely, extremely gifted. One that knew how to sing so beautifully and another that knew how to bake the bread
for the show bread in a very, it was a very special skill that was needed. So one family, that was their talent and the other was the, and now one of those families was asked outside of the service of the temple, you know, can you share your recipe for the challah? And they said, sure, no problem. Here's the recipe. And they gave everyone the recipe, no problem. But the family that knew how to sing really well, they were asked, can you sing for,
you know, my son is getting married. Can you guys come? They're like, no, no, no, we're not. We're not sharing the gift that we were given. It was all taken away from them. You're making it yours now. Oh, now it's yours, you own it. It's a gift. Humility requires us to recognize that everything we have is a gift. Humility generates truth and objectivity. Humility is freedom. Humility is pleasure. You know what arrogance is? Pain. I need to always show off.
I need to always, it's because I'm in pain. It's trying to fill and cure an illness, so to speak, that a person has. Humility enables you to embrace others. Humility deepens your relationship with God. I remember a story I heard from Senator Lieberman. He spoke at an event here in Houston, and he said a brilliant, brilliant story. He said the morning after he and Al Gore lost the election, he was sitting on the porch in the back of his house in Connecticut,
and Senator Lieberman's reading the paper, drinking his coffee, and his wife turns to him and says, "'Don't worry, Joe. "'In this house, you'll always be vice president.'" Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Really fabulous. But, you know, there's a story told about Rav Moshe. It's one of my favorite stories about Rav Moshe. Are you talking about Rav Moshe Feinstein, who was the greatest Torah scholar probably to ever step foot in the United States,
and he lived for many years in the Lower East Side, and a woman called him up on a Friday afternoon. It's hectic, things going on. Rabbi Feinstein was a little busy, so one of his students saw the phone was ringing, and he picked up the phone. He says, "'Hello, Rabbi Feinstein's office.'" And the lady says, "'Can I speak to Rabbi Feinstein?' She said, "'He's a little busy right now. "'Is there any way that I can help you?' She says, "'I just wanted to know
"'what time candle lighting is.'" So the student opens up a calendar. He says, "'Oh, candle lighting is at 6.34, "'and I just want you to know "'that Rabbi Feinstein is a very busy rabbi, "'and he's very, very busy. "'You don't need to call him for candle lighting time. "'You can get any Jewish calendar and look, "'and it'll tell you what time candle lighting is.'" She says, "'I don't know what you're talking about. "'I've been calling Rabbi Feinstein for 25 years.
"'He never said anything about calendars.'" 25 years, this woman was calling Rabbi Feinstein, and every week on Friday, as busy as it was, he would tell her lovingly what time candle lighting, isn't he calling Rabbi Feinstein? You can call any Jewish mo, they can tell you what time candle lighting is. She called Rabbi Feinstein. He never said, "'You know, I'm a very dignified rabbi, "'and I don't have time for your pesty little phone calls "'on Friday afternoon when it's all busy.'"
No, no, no, that's humility, knowing your place. I wanna share with you one more personal story that I witnessed myself. My great aunt, her name is Bambi, and she was the head midwife in Shahr Zedek Hospital in Jerusalem. And she delivered babies for over 50 years. She delivered over 40,000 babies. Really an incredible woman. And she delivered me when my mother gave birth to me, and she delivered my son when my wife gave birth. And of course, she was retired already
by the time my son was born, but she would come in and everybody knew her. Oh, Bambi, she was like the head midwife of Shahr Zedek Hospital, I mean, everybody knew her. So except for one person, on rotation when my wife was there giving birth, was this young nursing student, you know, midwife student from the school attached to the hospital. And she had no idea who this lady was. She had no idea that this was like the revered Bambi who delivered over 40,000 babies.
This girl probably never delivered a baby in her life. Maybe two. So she was there, I witnessed this in front of my eyes, and she was talking to Bambi and sort of almost lecturing her. You know, you're supposed to do it like this and do it like that and like, and if you wouldn't believe, Bambi stood there with the greatest humility in the world, listening to her every word, acknowledging everything she said, as if she was the student.
She probably delivered that little student. But that didn't mean anything, because someone else may have a piece of information. Someone else may have something, a little insight that you never thought of. Don't think like you're too great. Oh, I am the big doctor, the big hero, the big, you know, whatever it is. And I can't hear from anybody else. Listen to everyone with humility. I wanna just add one more little story. I remember when I was in yeshiva,
it was, I was probably 15 or 16 years old, and we all together, the entire yeshiva, made a siyam, a celebration for the completion of a tractate of Talmud. And my parents weren't living in Israel at the time, and my grandfather surprised me and showed up to the party, to the celebration. And my grandfather walked in and sat down right there at the door. So that when the rabbis realized that my grandfather was there, they ran over to, no, come sit at the dais, come sit in front of, and my grandfather didn't want to. He didn't wanna take over the show. He was there to support me. He was there to encourage me. It wasn't his event. He recognized his place. Oh, it's a legendary rabbi comes in. We have to bring him to the, he should be at the front. No, no, no, no. He was there to help, to encourage me. And he recognized this place. So my dear friends, let's utilize the tool of humility to maximize every day of our lives.