Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection

You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, Texas. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

Welcome back my dear friends to day number 134 at the end of the Gate of Flattery on page 753. Harot z'le'inot z'manach hanifos. Someone who wants to protect himself and escape from the sin of flattery. Yizor le'harchik atzmo menach kavod. Run away from honor. Ki mi she'eino choshesh liska. But someone who's not cautious about honor, about the trappings of honor. Lo yitzdorich le'hachnif.
Someone who doesn't, is not concerned with honor will never need to flatter another person. Ve'gam tzorich le'hizor sh'lo ye'hene me'acherem. Don't take benefit from other people. Ki rov hamachanifim, machanifim, machanifim lo'adim she'svurim she'tiye le'hem ano'a me'meno. One must be careful not to derive benefit from others. For most of those who flatter do so in expectation of some benefit from those who they flatter. So I'm giving in order to take. There's a book. I remember when I moved to Houston in my position as director here at Torch.
So someone recommended a book. I'm not going to say the name of the book. But the book was all about how to flatter people to get what you want. And I never read the book. I just read the introduction. And it was all about, you know, it's like if you go to the right places and you hang around the right people and you always ask them, oh, how's your wife and how's your children? Even though you don't care and it's not genuine, it's all fake.
But then they'll invite you to their parties and then they'll do business with you and then they'll give you this. And it's all, the whole principle of the book was about really being disingenuous to get what you want. And I felt that it was just so, I literally, I never read the book. I have it still. But it's not a book that I read. I don't want to read it because I feel that it's not genuine. It's not honest.
That's not the way you build relationships that are loving, that are real, that are genuine. So how many people do good deeds so that people acknowledge them, so that they get the praise of others? All of the person's service of Hashem becomes destroyed because he's seeking that honor. How many people have a beautiful voice and they can lead the services? And they're thinking while they're leading the services, look what a beautiful voice I have. And people are loving that I'm leading the services. I'm such a great cantor.
I'm such a great person to lead the service. And this is the way the Yetz Hara works. He does this for all mitzvot. To put a person into the trap of the Yetz Hara and to cause him to now do it for the attention, for the people to acknowledge. So that his actions not be actually for the sake of heaven, but rather for the sake of his own personal glory. So too with pleasure.
So if you're a guest in someone's home, you can't now stand up and say, just by the way, what you're doing is wrong. Because they'll kick you out of the house. If you're enjoying from somebody, you're taking pleasure from you enjoying a meal at their home. You got to be very careful. You're afraid he's going to kick you out of the house. He says, and in our generation, sadly, this is how many years ago this was written. But he says, this is sadly the situation.
Because they want to benefit from so and so, from that person, from this person. So they kiss up to them. And they chummy up to them. And they say nice things to them. So that they continue to curry favor with them. Not only that they don't correct the person who's sinning, but they sit idly by and eventually become part of the sinners. He says, He says, the way nature is, is that man is drawn to the ways of his generation.
To your friends, to your community, to your culture, to your country. This is what we do in our country. This is what we do in Texas. This is what we do wherever a person is. This is what we do here. And the person gets drawn to it. And the way they act, he acts. We're all influenced by our environment to some degree. Therefore a person has to ensure that he connects with the righteous. And to always sit with the righteous.
And to those who are wise and those who are pious. To learn from their ways. And to distance oneself from the sinners and the evildoers who are walking in darkness. In order not to learn from their ways. We are all influenced. And this is an important thing for us to remember constantly. If you think that your children are not being influenced in school, in college, in grad school, wherever they may be. They are being influenced by their environment. 100% they're being influenced.
And this is what King Solomon of blessed memory says in Proverbs. He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be broken. He who walks with the wise men will be wise. You hang around the good people, you'll be good. You hang around the not so good people, you'll be not so good. As it says in Psalms. This is the first verse in the first Psalm of King David.
Praised is the man, happy is the man who did not walk in the counsel of the wicked. You don't hang around with them, you won't be influenced negatively from them. If there is a community, there's a place where the customs are evil and whose members do not follow the right path. Go to a place where the people are righteous. And they do conduct themselves virtuously. And if all the communities that you know conduct themselves in a way that's inappropriate.
Or if a person is too far from a place that has good, correct values and ways. Either because of sickness or because of dangerous bands of thieves in order to get there. So what is he going to do? He's too far. Too far of a travel to get to a place which has wholesome people. Such a person should dwell in solitude, alone. Let him sit alone and be silent. Let him sit alone and be silent. For he has taken it upon himself, says Lamentations.
And if you're in a place where they say sorry, you've got to be part of our culture, like Sodom and Gomorrah. You have to do what we do. We're all evil and you're going to be evil with us. He says, what do you do then? He says, then hide in the caves, in the rocky cliffs, in the desert. Do not be among those who are sinners. My dear friends, this is such an important and fundamental lesson for us to learn in our generation.
Because I feel that we're living in a world of total influence. And we're influenced in ways that in previous generations we weren't influenced that way. Previously, okay, you can keep the television off. But today you have apps, you have social media, you have every kind of influence you can possibly imagine. Media, so powerful. And you look at what, you know, you have the Golden Globes yesterday. And you have all of these things. Are these the values that we value?
If not, we should keep ourselves distant from it. We should avoid looking at it and hearing about it. It means we have to have intentional direction in how we want to live our lives. And if a person wants to live their lives in a righteous way, they're going to have to be intentional about it. And delete the app that's causing you to waste time. Delete the app that's causing you to have a negative influence. Distance yourself from friends that are a bad influence.
We have to be intentional about it. We can't, and this I think the number one lesson from chapter 24 about slander, about flattery, is to be intentional in your service of Hashem. I want to do good, I need to be in a good place. I want to be in a positive environment. I want to be around people who are growing, who are on a trajectory of growth. Because if not, what's the result? Heaven forbid, I'll hang around the people that are no good.
And if they're no good, I'm surrounding myself with no good, I'll end up with that influence as well. And the same goes for our children, obviously. If we put our children in a good environment, they will be on a very good path to be doing great things. My dear friends, have a magnificent week. Thank you so much.

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