Keeping it Holy & the Art of Self Control (Parsha In-Focus: Kedoshim)

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.

00:10 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back, everybody to the Parsha Review Podcast. We were on a little hiatus and I'm happy to be back and we are going to do a little bit of catch-up.

00:21
Chapter 19, verse number 2, the beginning of Parshas Kedoshim V'idaber Hashem o Moshe. Leymor Hashem spoke to Moshe saying Daber el kol adas b'nei Yisroel, speak to the entire assembly of the children of Israel, v'amart aleim, and you shall say to them Kedoshim ti yu, you shall be holy ki Kodosh ani Hashem olekechem. You shall be holy, why? Because I am holy ki kodesh ani ki kodesh ani Hashem elakechem. You shall be holy why? Because I am holy Hashem, your God. Very interesting verse, very interesting commandment that we have here. So let's understand a little bit of what's going on.

00:59
Our sages tell us something very, very important. It's very, very crucial for us to always understand that there are laws that the Torah gives us, that the Torah says you are permitted to do or prohibited from doing. We know there are things that the Torah says. For example, there are certain foods we're not allowed to eat. There are certain animals that we're not supposed to eat from. They are considered unholy, unkosher and we're not supposed to eat from. They are considered unholy, unkosher and we're not supposed to touch them. There are also foods that the Torah says that you're permitted to eat. So does that mean, for example, wine? Wine is generally, if it's produced by a Jew, it's kosher. So wine is kosher. So does that mean that I should be sitting there and drinking wine all day?

01:43
Sages tell us Kadesh atzmecha b'mutalach, be holy with the things that are permitted to you, meaning take an extra step of protection on the things that are permitted. Yes, there are things that are prohibited, there are things that the Torah commands us to stay away from. That we understand. But the things that are holy, those things, there's an extra level of becoming holier and having a balance, and we always say this that in Judaism everything is balanced. Everything is keeping ourselves balanced in Judaism. So an example of this would be, for example, it's known about the Chavetz Chaim. The Chavetz Chaim wouldn't smell tabak. Tabak was like a little snuff that people would take a little sniff of the snuff and he would say that that was his observance of this commandment of being holy, of being holy.

02:45
Be holy Meaning even though it's permitted, there's nothing wrong with that snuff, but observance of it and keeping myself one step away from it adds an element of holiness. You know, there's the famous teaching of the rivet. The rivet would say that when you're in the midst of eating, you're in the middle of eating and you're having all of your desires and your appetite and everything is being oh, I want to finish this steak, I want to finish this food. It's so delicious to take a little bit that you put aside. It's called tainis harivet, which is a little bit that you put aside. It's called tainis haraivet, which is a little bit of fasting. Take a little bit of your desire and put it aside. Why it's permitted? It's true, it's permitted, but to get to the next level of holiness, put a little bit aside, be a little bit separated from the full desires, and that's an interesting thing. And if you look at the verse that we just mentioned, it says Speak to the entire nation of Israel, to everyone. This is something that we can all grow in. You don't have to be a rabbi, you don't have to be a scholar. Just take one little thing and elevate the way in which you observe your connection with God.

04:06
Now I want to just share with you a very interesting experience that I've had multiple times and I think we've talked about it multiple times here of what it means when you have children who observe kosher. So my children know that there are certain things that are negotiable and certain things are non-negotiable, right? So, for example, we go to the supermarket and you know they have these pressure sale items that they have by the counters, by the checkout counters, right? The little chocolate bars and the little mint gums and all of these little things, tic Tacs, and what they try to do is to try like you're right there, just put it in my cart and let's buy this. And those are usually, by the way a little side note those are usually overpriced. So it's probably not the best place and time to buy things, but either way, the concept that you just buy it.

05:05
But when you have little children in your wagon and they see that chocolate and they say like, oh, I want that candy, I want that chocolate, I want that sweet, whatever it is, there's always an extra measure of protection that when the children know if this is an item that's not kosher or it's not kosher to the standard that we eat, that is something that the children learn already from a young age to be holy, and that means there are certain things that I'm limited from and I'm happy to limit myself from it. The children learn self-limitations. They learn that there's certain things. Self-control. They learn that there's certain things that there are off-limits. Today you have people who don't know what it means to have any limitations whatsoever.

06:00
I'm sure you've all heard in the news not long ago there was a child, a teenager, who took his parents' car late at night and was reckless and killed a pedestrian defense in court was that he has something called affluenza. He came from a very affluent family and because he didn't know what it meant to have any type of repercussion for his actions, he didn't know what it meant to be responsible. Therefore he should be, you know, released from this responsibility of killing somebody with his negligence. He didn't know what it meant to have responsibility, to have accountability for things. You know there's an action and there's a reaction.

06:54
When you do something, when someone is immersed in a world of holiness, they understand that every action has a reaction. And when I limit myself from indulging in a physical desire and temptation, there's a reaction of holiness that overtakes the person, and that's what we teach our children. That's what the Torah teaches us to teach our children and ourselves as well, by the way. Yeah, you know what? If you can afford to have all the finest wine and the finest meats and the finest foods, what is your level of holiness that you're going to elevate yourself? Okay, enjoy that. But maybe there's something you can limit Not to be overindulged in a physical. Not to be overindulged in a physical, not to be overindulged in a completely immersed world of physicality and indulgence of materialism.

07:50
I think it's a very, very important principle for us to train ourselves, train our children at a young age already that they should know there's certain things that are prohibited. It's important you know they say that for parenting. There are certain times that parents should make rules, just so that the children should understand that there are limits, there are barriers. For example, the halacha says that children are not allowed to sit in the seat of their father, in your father's seat, where the father sits at the head of the table. Children are not allowed to sit in that seat. Doing that and setting that principle for your children already at a young age gives them tools that will help them for their entire lives that they know there are certain things that are prohibited.

08:41
There are certain limitations that I prohibited. There are certain limitations that I have. I cannot just do whatever I want to do. There are rules, there are laws, and that the Torah guides us. But then there are things that you can add. You can add something small, a certain limitation, not only what the Torah says is prohibited, but Kadesh Atmecha B'mutarlach Elevate the things that are permitted to you, take the things that are permitted to you and elevate yourself one little notch forward. To keep ourselves holy is the goal of what the Torah wants us to be. Be holy, because Hashem is holy. Be God-like, emulate Hashem. Hashem should bless us all. We should have an amazing Shabbos and we should be able to elevate ourselves every single day. My dear friends, have a great Shabbos.

Keeping it Holy & the Art of Self Control (Parsha In-Focus: Kedoshim)