Talmudist: Responsibilities in Jewish Parenting

00:00 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, texas. This is the Thinking Talmudist Podcast.

00:10 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
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00:51
Today we're going to start a new piece of Talmud. Last week, we concluded the Talmud in Baba Basra 9a. We turned to 9b about talking about philanthropy. We talked about charity. We talked about tithes, etc. Etc, and the rewards that come along with it. Today we're going to change topics and we're going to talk about the obligations of a man to his child, and we'll see soon the obligation of the child to his parent. But this is now coming coming from the Talmud in Kiddushin 29a.

01:28
The Talmud begins as follows the Talmud tells us that what are the obligations of a child, of a son, to his father. If one is to say that it means all obligations are incumbent upon a son to perform for his father, how can the Mishnah say that women are exempt? It is taught in Abraes. Scripture states From here I know only that a man, that a man is obligated to revere his parents. Where do we know that a woman is obligated as well, since it says and the verb here is in the plural construct, harei kan shnaim. Therefore we learn from this reference that it is referring to both men and women. So why does it say only that the obligation is on a son to his father?

02:42
The Gemara suggests a different explanation to the Mishnah. Amar Av Yehuda Rehuda says this is what the Mishnah is really saying. In regard to all obligations involving a son that are incumbent upon a father to perform for his son, men are obligated, but women are exempt from these obligations to their son. On the basis of this reading of the Mishnah, the Gemara corroborates the accuracy of a Bressa and according to Rav Yehuda's explanation that we just said, it emerges that we have learned in our mishnah that which was taught already by the rabbis in a brisa a father is obligated with respect to his son lamulo. Listen to these following things, lamulo to give him a bris, to circumcise him, vil him, to redeem him, the redeeming of the firstborn, and to teach him Torah. And to marry him off to a wife and to teach him a craft. These are the five obligations that a father has to his son.

04:03
Some say that he is also a father has to his son V'yei shomrim afloh shito v'yam. Some say that he is also obligated to teach his son to swim. And I would say I have this, by the way, as a ruling from my rabbi of blessed memory, rabbi Beryl Eisenstein. He said that today, that means to teach your child how to drive. Why would it have to be to teach them how to swim? Because they would be traveling from place to place and, if God forbid, the ship would sink and you don't give them a way to survive. That's negligence. Today, that is driving. If you don't teach your child how to drive properly, it's negligence. The parents are obligated to teach them. Okay, so now Rabbi Yehuda says Rabbi Yehuda says Anyone who does not teach his son a craft, a livelihood, a way to support himself, it's compared to someone who taught his child to become a bandit, a thief.

05:11
Why? Because if he's not going to have a livelihood, he's going to have to cheat and steal. Okay, the Gemara asks in astonishment Can you really say that? It's as if he taught him banditry? The father has, in fact, remained idle, teaching him nothing at all. So what are you telling him? He taught him how to be a thief. The Gemara answers it's as if he taught him banditry. Why? Commentaries explain Lacking expertise in any field, the son is without a means of earning a livelihood. Unfortunately, then he will be forced to turn to banditry to provide for his needs.

05:53
And this is a very important responsibility that every father has. Not only you have to do your first obligation circumcise the baby, okay, redeem the firstborn. If he's a firstborn male and you're not a Kohen or a Levi, you're just a simple Israelite like most of us, then you got to redeem the firstborn. Then your obligation is teach him Torah. Then your obligation is anybody, get him married. And then you have to teach him a trade. And you have to teach him how to be able to support his family, to support himself, support his family and be a responsible human being. Also, teaching him how to swim is an important tool.

06:41
The Gemara now analyzes the mitzvahs mentioned in the Brisa, deriving from Scripture, the father's obligation to perform each Again as a principle in our Thinking Talmudist series. It's our responsibility to learn Talmud because we'll see that no word in the Torah, no word in the Talmud, no word of Judaism is just a random invention of some bored rabbis who decided we're going to make life miserable for the Jewish people, like some say. Some think mistakenly that Judaism is all just a bunch of collection of ideas from some rabbis who were sitting around thinking how can we make life miserable? Now, most of those people are also communists in their politics as well. So that's the way they think. But that's not the way it works in Judaism. In Judaism, the Torah is very, very clear in every part of our Masorah that the sages of the Talmud need to found everything. Everything needs to be based on the Mishnah. The Mishnah needs to be based on the Tanakh, on the 24 books of the Torah, the prophets and the writings. So if it's not sourced there, be very careful of accepting anything. So now they made five obligations, possibly a sixth one on every father to teach a son, to do for a son. Now we're going to have to find the sources for each of these five, maybe six things.

08:17
L'mulo minalan, from where in Scripture do we know that it is a father's responsibility to circumcise a son? The Gemara replies. It says and Abraham circumcised Isaac, his son, when he was eight days old and God commanded him. Exactly as God commanded him. The Gemara continues and in the case where one's father has not circumcised him, the courts are obligated to circumcise him. Because the verse states why is it written in the plural? And where the courts do not circumcise for yourselves, all males, why is it written in the plural Ve'hecha do le'ma'alei beidina. And where the courts do not circumcise the child, michayiv i'u le'ma'alei navshei, he himself is required to circumcise himself. D'ch'siv ve'aral ve'aral zachar asher lo'yimol espesaroloso v'nichrosa. And the non-circumcised male, he who has not circumcised the flesh of his foreskin, such a soul shall be cut off from his people.

09:32
So here, when it talks about the obligation of having a bris milah, we learn it from Abraham, who gave the circumcision to Isaac. Abraham, the father was obligated to give a circumcision to his son. So from here we learn that all fathers are obligated to circumcise their sons. What happens if the father does not fulfill that obligation? Then what happens? The obligation falls on the community, on the Bet Din, the Jewish court. If the Jewish court doesn't until he's 13 years old, he is obligated on himself to make sure that he gets it. It doesn't mean he needs to circumcise himself like Abraham did for himself, but rather he needs to employ a mohel. All right, a mohel, and the mohel has to circumcise him and mohel is his messenger.

10:25
By the way, if you're attentive at the bris, it's not a, it's not I don't like to call. My grandfather gets upset when people call it a ritual. It's not a ritual, it's a covenant. It's a covenant between us and the Almighty. It's not a ritual. So when we're having this covenant, this bris between us and the almighty, it's not a ritual. So when we're having this covenant, this bris between us, and anytime you go to a, a baby who's a baby boy, who's eight days old, and you go to the circumcision, if you listen, the moa will tell the father the obligation, if he knows what he's doing. The obligation to have a bris is the obligation of the father to give the bris to his son. Do you want to do the bris? And most fathers will say no, no, thank you, you be my messenger, so you have to designate that. The mohel is the messenger.

11:18
Now, interestingly, by my bris, the mohel prepared everything and he turns to my father and he says this is a true story. He turns to my father. He says do you want to be the moel? Prepared everything. And he turns to my father and he says this is a true story. He turns my father. He says do you want to be the moel? He's like no, no. He says well, do you know how to cut challah? He says yes. He says to do the same and he says say the blessing. And my father did.

11:40
And my father was so like well, all confused by the time they got to the naming of the baby. My father forgot the name. So anybody who's been by my bris, who was by my bris, remembers this that they say v'yikarish, v'may b'serol, and the name should be among the jewish people and there's no name cricketsickets, crickets, exactly. And you remember all this. I don't remember any of it, but everybody who was there told me. So my father ran to the women's section and asked my mother what's the name? I forgot the name and, sure enough, I'm very grateful that my name is my name the way it is, because my father had many other ideas of what the name may have been. So, yeah, don't surprise a father at the bris to be the mall because he may not remember the child's name and some other things.

12:34
But either way, the obligation is on the father. If the father does not fulfill it, it's on the community, why? Because we bring a verse that says in a plural term that you shall circumcise. Who's that referring to? It's referring to the community. Who's the representative of the community? The betin, the Jewish court? If the Jewish court doesn't, the obligation is on oneself to fulfill this mitzvah.

12:58
The Gemara now derives the mother's exemption from the mitzvah to circumcise a male child. From where do we know that the mother, that she is not obligated to circumcise her son as God commanded him? Him, not her, and therefore O. So below O sah. This implies that the commandment was addressed to him, to Abraham, and not to her, not to Sarah. The Gemara continues we have found only that in the immediate time that Abraham was commanded in circumcision, the mitzvah was addressed to him as Isaac's father. But from where do we know that in later generations the obligation is also on the father and not only in the time of Abraham? Because you can argue rationally, saying well, that made sense during the time of Abraham and Isaac, but why would that make sense today, in 2024? Why would that make sense that the father is obligated back? Back then Abraham was obligated, but not now. So the Gemara says Tona Debe, rebbe Yishmael, the academy of Rebbe Yishmael, taught Kol Mokom Shenem Ar Tzav.

14:16
Every place in Scripture that the term Tzav mean command is stated Eino Elo Zeruz Miyadad ulidoros. It is nothing but an indication that Scripture's command should be carried out with zeal, immediately and for generations. So when you see a certain pattern that every time this word is used, this is how the command is referring, it's referring to an immediate application and a multi-generational. This is how the command is referring. It's referring to an immediate application and a multi-generational obligation, meaning that forever, this is your obligation. The praises supports this general interpretation of the word tzav.

14:58
Why Ziru is d'ksiv. It implies zeal, for it is written v'tzav es yoshua v'chazkeu v'amtzeu. Anybody ever heard the term chazak v'ematz? Meaning strengthen and fortify, meaning go from strength to strength. That comes from our Torah, from Joshua, where God, where he's commanded, it says command Joshua, strengthen him and fortify him. Miad u'l-doros t and fortify him. That's how we know immediately because it uses the word command, tzav. But how do we know that it means for generations? Because it says also, and it applies, that the command is in force immediately and remains in force for generations as it is written, because it says about this word command, same word from the day that Hashem has commanded you and forward to all generations. So from here we see that whenever the word Tzav is used, it's not just random. The rabbi said well, that's what it means. No, no, no. You have to have proof for it, everything needs to be sourced and everything needs to be verified. And that's the proof and the verification for this teaching.

16:21
The discussion turns to the second mitzvah mentioned in the Bridesmaid. I want to share with you quickly a story of what it means to be dedicated to the mitzvah of Briss when I was in the former Soviet Union, in Belarus actually it was year 2000, rosh Hashanah, yom Kippur. I get a call a few days before Rosh Hashanah that the rabbi of Minsk, belarus, had to leave suddenly to Israel because his wife was due and she suddenly became uncomfortable with giving birth in Minsk. You can understand why Kids want to be born with a kidney and kids want to be born with all of their organs right. Sometimes in these third world countries it's not such a given. So she says I'm not comfortable with this. I want to fly to Israel, give birth to the baby in Israel. So they decided a few days before Shoshana they're leaving. And now they're left without a rabbi in the main synagogue in Minsk.

17:19
I get a phone call. I remember I was in the parking lot in Yeshiva in Lakewood, new Jersey. Phone call. I remember I was in the parking lot in Yeshiva in Lakewood, new Jersey. I got a phone call. What do you think about being the replacement for the chief rabbi of Minsk? So I said I'd love that opportunity. Give me a minute, let me just verify if this is a possibility.

17:34
And I called my father. My father's like yeah, of course you should do it and I'll come with you. So my dad came along and we flew to Minsk and it was really, really special. My father was not there for Yom Kippur because he is the chazen in our synagogue and where we grew up in Muncie, on Yom Kippur. So he was with me for a shoshana and it was a fabulous, fabulous experience. You know I was the chazen for Mayrev, for Shacharis, for on Yom kippur for everything. Like I, was also read from the Torah, the entire package, everything. But I was 21, 22 at the time and it was a great experience.

18:16
But either way, one of the individuals who was like the main shamash or the main gabai of the shul, the main person who was involved told me the following story. He said that he has one son and we got into a conversation about his son and he said you know, my son had a bris and it was in not when I was there, but when his son was born was in the peak of communism and you could not circumcise your son. It was against the law to follow any religion and it was it was a, you know, a very big penalty if one were to give their, their child, a bris. So he and his wife was terrified. His wife said under no circumstances are you giving our child the risk. The baby's born and then, of course, the eighth day, you know, the wife is like no, you're not, we're not going to give this baby a risk. He says you're 100% right, we can't risk our lives. You go to sleep and I'll watch the baby.

19:17
And, sure enough, he takes the baby for a walk and he goes on top of his neighbor's building, goes up to the top floor, onto the roof, and he turns to the heavens and he says heavens, you're the only one who sees. I'm in the rooftop. Nobody sees what's going on here. I'm doing this because of my commitment to you, almighty God, creator of heaven and earth. You commanded in your Torah that we circumcise our children and therefore I am going to fulfill your command. And he undresses the baby.

19:47
Again, it's freezing cold, it's ice, it's snow everywhere. And he gives his baby a bris and wraps the baby up. Baby's crying, but again, nobody hears. Only the heavens hear. And he brings the baby back home and, sure enough, when his wife wakes up, she changes the baby's diaper. She's like what happened here? He's like I don't know. I don't know what happened, but either way, that's the commitment.

20:12
You have to understand that today. Today we're living in a generation where it is, you know, a celebration that everyone is excited to be part of. But once you had to commit and dedicate your life to fulfill such a mitzvah and you had to be willing to forego everything to be committed to a mitzvah. It's just an unbelievable level of commitment and dedication that we're unfamiliar with in our generation. It's really really special. If you think about the mitzvah of a bris, it's really something unique and a great privilege. I have four sons and to have a bris for each of those four sons on their eighth day not all were on their eighth day, not three of the four were on their eighth day, but my Yehuda was a preemie in the NICU, in the neonatal intensive care unit, and didn't have his bris until several months later, until he was off the machines, until he was safe enough to have his bris, to have his bris. But really, really special to have the privilege of having a boy, a baby boy, and giving him a bris I want to share.

21:32
One other thing is that we're now going to talk about the mitzvah of Pidyon HaBen, of redeeming the firstborn, and when my wife and I found out that we were pregnant with our first child. So we immediately went into a cab in jerusalem and we went to the western wall, to the kotel, and we said do we have to pray? Pray for a healthy baby, pray for a healthy pregnancy, pray that the baby be a baby. That's god-fearing and that goes in the ways of the Torah. So we get to the Kotel and I started having a conversation with Hashem and I'm like Hashem, you know, there's only one mitzvah that I can only do once, I only have one shot at it, and that's the Pidgin HaBen, the redeeming of the firstborn. Now, if you give me a baby girl, I can't do that mitzvah. So I really, really want to fulfill this mitzvah. Can you ensure that this, please, please, that this baby be a baby boy? Now, I don't know what Hashem's plans were, but when that baby was born and it was a baby boy I was like Hashem, I owe you one, I owe you one big. And sure enough, when we found out that we were pregnant with our second child, I went back to that Western wall, to the Kotel, and I said Hashem, you did your part. You can give me that girl you wanted to give me, maybe before.

22:53
Now you're wondering like, what are you talking about? You can't change the gender. That's not true. The Talmud says that till 40 days the gender is not assigned, it's not confirmed, or even if it is, it can change till 40 days. So after 40 days it's called a tefillat shav, it's considered a feudal prayer because after 40 days it's locked in and it is what it is Again, there are two genders.

23:17
Just in case anybody from this generation is confused, there are two genders. There's male and female. If you want, I got the source for you because in our Thinking Talmudist podcast we know that everything is sourced, so I will just give you. To those of you who are skeptical that maybe this rabbi is a little crazy, I will bring you the source from Genesis, and I know you think it might be a little bit ridiculous that someone can say such a thing. But here we go, chapter 1 in Genesis, verse 27 so God created man in his image. In the image of God, he created them, male and female. He created them. I don't think there's any confusion here. Right, there's no dysphoria. All right, there's no question about what God, yes.

24:34
Then it says the opening of the womb. If it's not a single birth of the first pregnancy, it doesn't apply. Of the first pregnancy, it doesn't apply. It's only it's got to be the first pregnancy and the first it has to be a boy, and the mother or the father can't be the child of a Kohen or a Levi. If either of them are the child of a Kohen or a Levi, you mean if the father is a Kohen or a Levi, if either of them are the child of a Kohen or a Levi, you mean if the father is a Kohen or a Levi, or if the mother is the daughter of a Kohen or a Levi, then you don't do the Pidyon HaBen, the redeeming of the firstborn. Don't worry, because the Kohen and Levi get the first aliyahs. You know what I'm saying. They get plenty of honors, plenty of opportunities to do great things.

25:24
Okay, so now the discussion turns to the second mitzvah, mentioned in the Bryce, of the Redemption of the Firstborn Sons. The Gemara begins by asking Lifdo somon olam, from where in Scripture do we know that it is a father's responsibility to redeem his firstborn son? The Gemara replies D'chsiv kol bechor b'necho tifteh, all firstborn of your sons, you shall redeem. This is in Numbers 18, verse 15. The repetitive phraseology redeem, you shall redeem adds emphasis to the command. The implication is that redemption shall certainly be carried out, even if the person who is to be redeemed must do it himself, Meaning it's not only an obligation on your father, it's an obligation on yourself if your father didn't do it.

26:16
The Gemara continues In a case where the firstborn's father did not redeem him, he is required to redeem himself. As it is written redeem, you shall redeem the firstborn. It says it in a duplicitous term so that you know that if the father didn't, you shall. The Gemara now derives the mother's exemption from the mitzvah to redeem the firstborn son. From where do we know that she, the mother, is not charged with this responsibility? Tifteh, Tifteh. The above verse says Tifteh, you shall redeem, and by the vowelization, the letter of the word. If you sorry, and by vowelizing the letters of the word differently, we may also read it as tipadeh, you shall be redeemed, you shall become redeemed.

27:15
This comparison between the two words is thus established, yielding the following principle Kol she mitzuvah lifdos es atzmo. Mitzuvah lifdos es atzmo. Mitzuvah lifdos es acherem, anyone who is commanded to redeem themselves is obligated to redeem others. V'chol she einam mitzuvah lifdos es atzmo, and anyone who is not required or commanded to redeem themselves ie a woman, einam mitzuvah lifdos acherem, is not commanded to redeem themselves. Ie a woman, ein ha-mitzuvah lef dos ha-cherem, is not commanded to redeem others and therefore, since a woman is not required to redeem herself, even if she is a firstborn child, she is likewise not responsible to redeem her son.

27:58
Okay, so the above derivation rests on the fact that the firstborn daughter need not be redeemed herself. The Gemara now determines the source for that. We're not leaving any stone unturned. And from where do we know that the firstborn woman is not obligated to redeem herself? Again, using the same formulation that we did before, that the word tifteh can also mean tipadeh you shall become redeemed. This leads us to formulate the following principle Anyone who others are commanded to redeem is likewise commanded to redeem.

28:41
Mitzuvah liftos es atzmo is likewise commanded to redeem themselves, because she ein acher mitzuvah liftoso ein mitzuvah liftos es atzmo. If others are not commanded to redeem them, they are not commanded to redeem themselves. Hence, since the firstborn female is not someone whom her father, others, is commanded to redeem, she is not required to redeem herself either. The argument, in turn, rests on the premise that a firstborn female need not be redeemed by her parents. The Gemara now derives the source for this as well וְמִנַיִן שְאֵן אַכְר מְצְוּבֶּן לְפְתָּוּסֶם. And Mitzuv and Liftov. And from we do we know that the community is not obligated to redeem a firstborn daughter.

29:27
The Amar Krah called Bechor Banecha Tivdeh. It says all the firstborn of your sons you shall redeem, which implies Banecha V'lo B'no Secha. Your sons may be redeemed, must be redeemed, but not your daughters, even if they identify as boys. Okay, so now the Gemara continues. The Breisa defines the weight of man's obligation to redeem himself in relation to his obligation to redeem his son. The rabbis taught in the Breisa who liftos, ubno liftos, who kodum levno, if a firstborn male needs to be redeemed and the firstborn of his son needs also to be redeemed, who called them? Of no, he takes precedence over his son and should be redeemed first. So if you only have the five silver coins you have to redeem, what you do is okay. So here's the ceremony. We'll just go quickly through the ceremony.

30:27
You take the child. What we do, the custom is to put the child on after 30 days. On the 30th day, you put the child on a silver platter and then all the women take off their jewelry and put the jewelry on top of the baby. Why do they do that? They do that because, if you remember, what did the women do by the sin of the golden calf? The women took off the jewelry and gave it to be used for making this golden calf. This is a tikkun. This is a repair for that same act where the women gave their jewelry for idolatry, that now they're giving their jewelry for the service of Hashem, fulfilling Hashem's commandment. So you'll see a baby come into the room packed with all the jewelry on top of the baby and on a silver platter.

31:23
And now the father gives the baby to the Kohen. The Kohen says okay, this is my baby. The Kohen says what would you like to do, father? Would you like your son back or do you want me to keep the baby? Oh, I want the son back. He says well then, that's going to cost you five silver coins. And the father gives the Kohen five gold coins. He says now you can have your child. And he does a ceremony of saying these five coins for your child are being exchanged, and then the five coins become the Kohens, and it's a great income. And he gives the baby back to the father and now you make a great festive meal, a great festive celebration, because now the child is indeed redeemed and it's yours.

32:13
The Kohen, the tribe of the Kohen, were not involved in the terrible desecration of God's name with the idol of the golden calf, and therefore we redeem it from the Kohen, and this is the obligation for every Yisroel, every person who's not a Kohen or a Levi, to do so to redeem their firstborn from the, from the Kohen we had. There's no time frame, there's no time limit. As long as they're alive we redeem them and it can be at any time. I'd suggest, david, that you do it. We talked about this and we did one actually, here at the Torch Center about maybe four years ago. A young man, maybe in his 40s, said one second I'm a Kohen, I'm not a Kohen, I'm not a Levi. My mother's not a daughter of a Kohen or a Levi either. I'm a firstborn and I was never redeemed with a Pidgin Abed, with the redeeming of the firstborn, and the parents came and we made a great celebration here and we did the redeeming of the firstborn. And the parents came and we made a great celebration here and we did the redeem.

33:26
We had a coin come, an authentic coin. It's very hard to find the coin. That's that that we know. That is son after son from aaron, uh, the, the high priest. And sure enough, we did that ceremony right here at the torch center, except for Aaron, right, and Aaron was by mistake. He just did it because he was afraid they were going to kill him. He was forgiven for that.

33:47
It was not done with the intention to create an idol. It was done with the intention to delay so that they not do anything until Moses descends from the mountain. That's a good question. Yeah, no, they're actual silver coins. I have one of them from the mountain. That's a good question. Yeah, no, they're actual silver coins. I have one of them. From the coin. It's a certain measurement of silver that's made into a coin.

34:11
Today they make these beautiful Pigeon Haban coins. They make it special five coins which has the proper quantity of silver in it, and it's an actual coin. It's very nice, nice design of silver in it and it's an actual coin. It's very nice, nice design. I. I don't know why, but when the coin asked me do you want to keep the five coins? And it obviously costs money, it's silver and I said no, I'll just keep one. As they remember, as a, as a, as a mem memorabilia from the, I should have bought all five I. I regretted it later.

34:40
Um, it turns out that cohen was a very, very holy, special man, or moshe kapshitz, of blessed memory. He's buried in the same section as my grandfather and grandmother are in in uh, um, harmanuchos. So it's really a special thing in jerusalem. So you know, yeah, I was. Remember I went to see my to visit my grandfather and grandmother at their graves. Every time I go to Jerusalem I do that and I was like what? This is the Kohen that redeemed my firstborn son. Yes, I feel like I'm in the White House.

35:15
Two-part question here. Okay, go Part one. Correct? Yes, you may deduce that a woman is able to fulfill that mitzvah of performing the bris even if the husband is not there or not alive, correct? We learned that from Zipporah, the wife of Moses. Yes, yes, the same would apply. The mitzvah would. Again, it's not her obligation, but she's allowed to fulfill that commandment. Well, you can. If you want to be kind-hearted, you're welcome to do that, but it's not your obligation to do so. It's not your obligation to do so.

35:57
You can find them. You can go to some Judaica store and say, do you have those gold coins, those silver coins? And they may have it in stock. They may have it. They may have it. You may need to find one online. You can search online. But it really is a, it's a cool thing.

36:11
I'd probably want to get now four more of those coins, so if they were ever in need, uh, maybe for a grandchild, god willing, or for you know, my daughter will not be making a, a pigeon haben, because she's marrying a cohen. So, god willing, when she has a, a child or a bunch, she's not going to be making a pigeon. I've been on that firstborn. If it's a boy, because the torah commands us. The torah says, because the coen were not involved in any of the issues that the firstborn were involved with, for example, in Egypt, the firstborn of the Jews. Right, there's a lot of tikkun here. We can do a whole class on it. I don't want to get into it because we're never going to continue with our Talmud class. So we got to stay focused a little bit. And I'm the ADHD one here I'm not the only one, but I'm the main one here. So it's very easy for me to just go and disappear into another world here of discussion.

37:19
So the Brice defines the weight of a man's obligation to redeem himself in relation to the obligation to redeem his son. So we said that he comes first, he has to redeem himself first. Okay, so his son according to Rabbi Yehuda, his son according to Rabbi Yehuda. His son takes precedence over him and therefore his son should be redeemed first. Again, there are differences of opinions here. And for the mitzvah of his own redemption is primarily incumbent on his own father, and this mitzvah of his son's redemption is primarily incumbent upon him. So again, there were two opinions. The first opinion we mentioned previously was that the father has to redeem himself. It's like they say when you're on the airplane if you're traveling with a child, put on your own mask before helping your child, because if you're dead you can't help your son, right? So you got to first, you know, put the mask on yourself. Right over.

38:19
Here it's a little bit different, where the talmud says in the first opinion that you need to redeem yourself first and then your son, and then the second opinion, according to Rabbi Yehuda, is that you redeem your son first and then yourself. Yes, no, the Talmud never says that. The Talmud never tells you sorry, not never. Really does the Talmud tell you how we rule? That's why you have halacha. Halacha, knowing the principles of how the Talmud is structured and knowing the hidden code which we talk about a lot in our class. Always, the second opinion is the halachic one, not the second or the last opinion. We give all the opinions to the one that's actual, the halacha. That's the last opinion. We give to give everybody else the respect and the honor of their opinion going first, but we don't follow their opinion. So always look at the last opinion, rabbi Yehuda, that you actually do the son first and then the father, really, yeah, right. So Rebbe Yirmiya defines the scope of the dispute between the Tanakhama and Rebbe Yehuda. We'll see. Maybe that there's a third opinion. We'll see what the last opinion is in a minute, as is right now. It would be like Rebbe Yehuda, in fact, I can tell you, if we look at the Rambam, I think the Rambam may be ruling like the first opinion, maybe because that's the majority opinion, but we'll see. Amr Rav Yirmiah says we're turning now to 29b in tractate Kiddushin. We're turning now to 29b in tractate kedushin. Everyone agrees that we are.

40:05
The father has only five sela worth of total assets, enough to redeem only one person, who he takes precedence over his son, and the money should be used to redeem himself. My time up from where do we know this Mitzvah du gufei adifa? A mitzvah that pertains to himself. His own redemption has priority over a mitzvah that pertains to others, meaning his son's redemption. Ki pligi, where does the Tanakhama, the first opinion and Rabbi Yehuda disagree. Where is their dispute? Ki pligi, where is this dispute? Hei chad di'iko, chamesh mishu abadim Is where the five cellar worth of land that is beholden, meaning the land that the father once owned but has since sold to a third party, v'chamesh b'nei chorin and five cellar worth of the land that is free, meaning that the father land, which the father presently still owns. Here they dispute the following point Meaning are you allowed to sell something that belongs to someone else?

41:16
Meaning one second okay, if I owe you this, I owe you this. I go to someone else Meaning one second Okay, if I owe you this, I owe you this. I go to someone and say would you like to buy this? I can't sell something that I don't really own. So now the question is if that obligation, is there, pre-existing obligation? So now the question is was that ever a sale?

41:38
To begin with, rabbi Yehuda, according to Revi Yehuda, a debt that was written in the Torah is like one that is written in a document, and the debt of redeeming the firstborn is a debt, an actual debt, that's written in the Torah. You're obligated to redeem the firstborn. It's not that it's a special mitzvah, no, no, no, it doesn't belong to you, you've got to redeem him. So that's considered like a contractual obligation and therefore the land held by a third party can be repossessed to pay the father's redemption debt. Since this is so, behani, chamesh, parak, livrei, with these five, selah, the father, presents the redemption for his son, got it One second. He should redeem his son, the five that he has in his hand. He redeems the son the five that were sold. That the Kohen can take or not, it's beholden. He can take from the hands of the third party for the father himself, right?

42:49
Rabbanon say that's Rehuda's opinion. Rabbanon say no, a debt that is written in the Torah is not like one that is written in a document. Hence the land sold to a third party cannot be repossessed to pay for redemption. This being the case, there are enough funds to affect only one redemption and therefore the mitzvah that pertains to oneself takes priority, and that is the opinion that we follow. I believe that that's the opinion that we follow. Okay, now the Talmud is going to go into many different circumstances. If one has other obligations, which one comes first, this obligation or that obligation, and that we'll see in the coming weeks. Let's see what the Talmud has for us in the coming weeks. My dear friends have a magnificent Shabbos. Thank you so much.

Talmudist: Responsibilities in Jewish Parenting