Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Living Jewishly podcast.

00:09 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back everybody to the Everyday Judaism podcast, where we study practical halacha, practical Jewish law. Today we are going to skip all the way to Simeon 142. Simeon 142. Now, just before we begin this halacha, it's important for us to do a little bit of introduction. Number one is that we have three days of Purim. The first is Ta'anis Esther. Ta'anis Esther is the fast of Esther. It is observed on the 13th day of the month of Adar. We have Purim, which is the 14th day of Adar, which is the main celebration of Purim, and then we have Shushan Purim, which is Purim for Jerusalem and other walled cities that were walled in the times of Joshua when he conquered Israel, and that is when they celebrate Purim on the 15th day of Adar. So this year, for example, you will have on a typical year, let's say you'll have Sunday will be the fast of Esther, monday will be Purim. Around the entire world, even in Israel and in Jerusalem, hebron and Jericho and cities like that that were walled, they celebrate on the 15th day. So it'll be Sunday, monday, tuesday. So now here in the United States this year, in 2025, tanis Esther, the fast of Esther, morning till evening will be. This Thursday, the celebration of Purim will be on Friday. Shushan Purim will be on Shabbos. Now, because you don't observe it on Shabbos, they're going to have a three-day Purim in Jerusalem. My children are now in Jerusalem. They will be celebrating Friday they do certain mitzvahs, shabbos they do certain mitzvahs and on Sunday they do certain mitzvahs of Purim. It's a very dynamic, very unique experience. But that is so that no one is confused. When we talk about Tanis Esther, we're talking about the fast of Esther. When we talk about Purim, we're talking about the 14th day of the month of Adar, which is when we observe Purim in most of the world, in diaspora, as well as Shushan Purim, which is the Jerusalem observed Purim, which as well as Shushan Purim, which is the Jerusalem-observed Purim, which is the next day. Okay, now there are four unique mitzvahs that every man and woman are obligated to perform on Purim. Number one is reading of the Megillah, which is discussed in the previous simmon. So we're not going to be discussing the details of the laws of Megillah, reading. That is discussed in chapter 141, simeon 141. That, hopefully, we'll get to in the future.

02:52
We're going to be dealing with the next three mitzvahs, which are Mishloach Manos You'll hear that word a lot Mishloach Manos, which means sending gifts, sending portions Matanos, lev Yonim, which is gifts to the poor, charity to the poor, and then eating the Purim feast. Okay, so those are the four mitzvahs Megillah, mishloach Manos, matanos, lev Yonim and Tz'uda, which is the feast. Okay, so we got them all four. Good, those are the four unique mitzvahs for the day of Purim. Okay, megillah, reading Mishloach Manos, sending portions, matanis, lev Yonim, the gifts to the poor, and eating the Purim feast. So those are the four, and now we're going to begin, each in their own category. Okay, so what is Mishloach Manos?

03:46
So every person, halacha, number one, every person is obligated to send and or give Mishloach Manos, with at least two food items to a friend, as it states in the verse in the book of Esther, and sending portions each person to his friend. So the main reason is because again, this is my understanding of this is because Purim is a day of happiness, a day of joy. You know, when you have happiness and you have joy, when you have friendship, when you have friendship, when you go to your neighbors and you bring them these two food items and they give you food items, it becomes a very joyous occasion, a very special time. The more one sends Mishloach Manos, the more praiseworthy. Every person should endeavor figure out a way to go to your neighbor, go to your friend and bring them to at least two items of food, and we'll see exactly what qualifies for that. It is best to give Matanus Lev Yonim gifts to the poor more than to have a lavish meal and Mishloach Manos. So if the option is give Mishloach Manos or give money to the poor, give money to the poor. That's always better, as there is nothing more desired and beloved to Hashem than gladdening the hearts of the poor, the orphans and the widows. One who gladdens the hearts of the unfortunate acts like the divine.

05:27
And number four, the fitting foods for Mishloch Monos are foods that are ready to be eaten as part of a meal, like cooked meat and fish. One may fulfill this obligation with other ready foods, like sweets, fruits, wine, etc. Now let me ask you a question. If you were to give a coffee pod you know those pods as part of your Mishlach Manos, would that qualify or not? Based on this halacha, it seems that it wouldn't. Why? Because it's not a ready food. It seems that it wouldn't why? Because it's not a ready food. It's got to be ready to be eaten. Now it could be that there's another perspective to this, that you just put the pot in and you make your fresh hot coffee and that's delicious, so it's ready to be used. Again. The idea here is that you should have something that's ready to be eaten.

06:26
There are many creative things that people do for Mishloach Manos, and I want to just give a disclaimer here. I'm not a fan of anything that's expensive. I'm not a fan of anything that takes too much stress anxiety. There are people who have themes In people. I mean my wife. Okay, she has themes like during COVID, she got these syringes and she had these M&Ms that were in the syringes. It was okay. It was like it had to be very, very, very, very theme-oriented. It's not necessary, okay, it is not necessary.

07:05
You can give a nice bottle of wine and a pack of wafers. Those are both ready-to-eat foods. Okay. Now it has to be a minimum of two food items to one person. You don't have to give to 150 people. There are people who stress out about this. You don't have to give to 150 people, especially when you live in a Jewish community, like in my neighborhood, where everyone is like okay, all my neighbors are Jewish, so someone could take it personal. Hey, I gave them, they didn't give me. There's no need for everyone to give everyone. There's no need for us to give hundreds of Mishlach Manos, which I've been trying to encourage my wife to minimize and minimize over the years, and people have been very, very creative in giving a very simple, enjoyable Mishlach Manos. Okay, and the idea. Here I'll give you an example. There's one family this is my favorite Mishlach Manos. Okay, and the idea. Here I'll give you an example. There's one family this is my favorite Mishloach Manos as being a recipient of.

08:10
Because I, as we'll see soon, I typically get completely inebriated on the Purim meal, as we'll see that that is the mitzvah of the day. So, as a result, many times when I am not coherent, I may not remember to recite the after blessing for the meal, and that's not a good thing. So what I typically try to do is I have a meal earlier in the day, when I am completely there, completely sober, and that way I'm able to eat, have a kavanah for the mitzvah of having the meal and then I bench properly, I recite the grace after meals and then I've fulfilled the mitzvah of having a feast. Now do we have a feast later with friends and we try to do that. Sometimes it's in the synagogue, depending on the day of the week, depending on the circumstances Like this year is a very big challenge because it's right before Shabbos.

09:13
It's on Friday. So what are you going to do? You have a meal and people can't come because it's Friday Friday you going to do? You have a meal and people can't come because it's Friday Friday. You have to do it earlier in the day because it's almost Shabbos. You're not supposed to eat later in the day on Friday because you're supposed to come into Shabbos with an appetite. So what are you going to do? It's like it's very complicated. People are working, they're going to have the meal five o'clock in the afternoon. Going to be too close to it's sometimes very, very challenging. Unless it's a Sunday and people are available all day. It's sometimes very, very complicated to do the meal appropriately for people who are outside of the community.

09:49
So some of the creative things that are very enjoyable is the one that I enjoy. There's one family that gives out a bagel, lox and cream cheese with a little orange juice and that is perfect, all right. So you have the two foods, they're ready to be eaten and I try to produce a video for them every year of me washing, eating, because this is my feast for the Purim celebration, and then, of course, later on. If there's another party, great Okay. So that is Mishlach Manus.

10:23
Again, two food items to one person is fulfilling that obligation. And when is it done? Specifically, on the day of Purim, not the night before, not the day before, not the week before. Now, if someone wants, someone has a friend in a different country or a different city, they just want to tell them an I love you gesture. That's fine, you can send it whenever it arrives there. It arrives there, it's fine. You don't fulfill the mitzvah with that. You don't fulfill the mitzvah Now, we mentioned.

10:56
There's another idea here is that we mentioned that you should send. We called it the sending portions. The idea of portions, we understand could be two items, but what is the sending Mishloch? It should be sent. The idea is that to properly fulfill this mitzvah, you send it with a messenger. You say can you please deliver this on my behalf? The idea is that you get more people involved in the observance of this. Mitzvah is part of the beauty of this. Okay, now number five, matanus levionim.

11:26
We're going to the next section, talking about giving gifts to the poor. Every person, even the poorest person, who receives charity handouts, must give gifts of charity to two poor people. Okay, to two poor people. So sometimes people get confused and they give the gifts, the sending of the portions Mishloach Manos to two people. This is different. No, you give two items to one person. That's Mishloach Manos to two people. This is different. No, you give two items to one person. That's Mishloach Manos. You give charity to two people, charity to two people.

12:08
It's not easy sometimes to know who is in the category of being a poor person. I mean someone who doesn't have money for food, someone who doesn't have money to sustain their livelihood. Okay, so this is something that you know to give money to a rabbi in the community who distributes that. I've been doing that for years. You know, identifying a poor family and very discreetly, honorably, giving them, meeting them privately on the day of Purim and giving them charity. Okay, so this is something I've done together with another one of the rabbis in the community. So if anybody here wants to fulfill that mitzvah, you can give me that money. It doesn't have to be given to me on that day, I make sure that I distribute it to the poor person.

12:55
On the day of Purim Generally, when giving charity, one should investigate the day of Purim. Generally, when giving charity, one should investigate the legitimacy of the cause. However, on Purim, we give to whoever extends their hand. So Purim is probably the number one day for charity being given in the Torah observant community, because everybody who asks, anybody who asks, you don't start doing a whole investigation. Someone asks you give Now. You don't start doing a whole investigation. Someone asks you give Now. You don't have to give an enormous sum. There's some people who give a tremendous amount, but you give. You give to every person. Anybody asks you give On that day, on the day of Purim, if one lives in a community where there are no poor people, he should put that money aside for a later time when he will encounter poor people.

13:42
But that money is put aside already. Okay, so the money has been designated, not someplace in my bank account, but here I have the money that $10, $20, $100, $1,000, $1,000, like you mentioned. Right, whatever that amount is that you should set it aside and it should be ready for the poor people, as women are also obligated in this mitzvah for Mishloach Manas, women should give to women and men should give to men. It isn't so appropriate for a man to give a woman gifts and for a woman to give men a gift, right, particularly if they're not married. However, when it comes to giving charity to the poor, a woman may give a man and vice versa, a man may give a woman. Okay, a woman.

14:32
Number nine a woman may rely on her husband to fulfill these mitzvahs, on her husband to fulfill these mitzvahs on her behalf. However, it is best for each person to fulfill these mitzvahs independently. There's a question that was asked recently about whether or not, if there's a poor family, if you give the husband money and you give the wife money, do you fulfill the mitzvah by giving to two poor people. Right, do you fulfill that mitzvah? And in many cases that may be the case that, yes, typically it's one pool in most households, but still, because you're giving to two independently poor people, it doesn't go as like they're one poor unit, but rather each person is poor on their own. Okay, so again, there are many interesting questions that come up and I look forward to our Ask Away segment. Ask Away number five. Ask Away number five. I'm really excited about that at the end of this segment.

15:43
Okay, number 10, about the Purim feast. We are obligated to eat, drink and rejoice on Purim day. This is the primary mitzvah of the Purim feast. Number 11, it is also proper to celebrate on the preceding night with a slightly larger than usual meal. So this year that would be on Thursday night, after the fast of Esther is concluded, you have a meal. It should be a little bit larger than normal, that meal, so as to show that it's a little bit more of a celebratory time when Purim falls on Saturday night, sunday, it is proper to have a slightly smaller third meal on Shabbos to leave room for the Saturday night Purim meal. Now again, the main meal is on the day of Purim, not the night before, but it's a custom to have a little something special the night before. As with all festive and holiday meals, at the Purim meal it is proper to light candles. Anytime we have a festive occasion, we light candles. On Purim, it's no different Purim. One should light candles and they should be there so that it adds to the festive effect of the celebration.

17:06
Number 14, the fulfillment of Mishloach, manos and Matanos Levionim, that is, sending portions and gifts to the poor should also be performed by day. The primary time for this mitzvah is by day, not the night before. Since on Purim day people are preoccupied with sending Mishloach Manos, it is inevitable that the meal will begin later in the day and run into the evening and is no longer Purim right, because at the end of the day, once it's sunset, it's already out of Purim. It is proper, therefore, to have the majority of the meal during the daytime, all right. So, for example, if sunset is seven o'clock, don't begin the meal at 6.45. Begin the meal at six o'clock or 5.30.

17:58
Again, this year is going to be different anyway. Regardless, because it's before Shabbos, you're supposed to do it way earlier in the day. So still, it is recommended to make sure that you have the majority of the meal during the day and not run into the following night. It is recommended that Mincha prayer be recited earlier in the day, before the meal begins. Also, it is proper to study Torah. See that it is proper to study Torah before beginning the meal. So what happens Once a person starts the meal? They start eating, they start drinking. Before you know it, the day is over and he didn't have the opportunity to study Torah. Therefore, it is proper to study Torah before the meal, also to pray the mincha service before the meal begins. When Purim falls out on Friday, like it does this year, it is proper to have the meal earlier in the day due to the honor of Shabbos.

19:00
Number 18, some have the custom to eat types of seeds on Purim to commemorate the seeds that Daniel and his colleagues ate in Babylonia, in commemoration of the seeds that Esther ate while she was in the care of Haggai, the custodian of the maidens. So poppy seeds, things like that. It doesn't have to be a whole meal of seeds, but just to commemorate and to fulfill that custom is a special thing. Number 19. Since the miracle of Purim was brought about by wine, our sages obligated us to become intoxicated with wine on Purim until we could not differentiate between first as Haman and blessed is Mordechai. Number 20.

19:47
There's not much to talk about about this. For sure. No one has any questions, because everybody knows what that means to be intoxicated. Now, this is a once a year obligation. Once a year. For those of you out there who may take advantage of this and say well, if it's a mitzvah, then it should probably be done every day. No, okay, it should not be done every day. Okay, this is a once a year mitzvah. This should be performed on Purim, not every Friday night and not every Shabbos day. It probably is not appropriate to be drunk other times of the year. This is a special time to be drunk because we are thanking Hashem with joy.

20:32
Now I want to tell you that there's a difference between being drunk and being drunk. There's people who are drunk First. As you should know, the Talmud says that when wine goes in, the secrets come out. So just be careful. That's number one. Number two is that you see the real person on Purim. You see the real person. You see exactly who's inside. So that could be very frightening for some people. That could be very frightening because some people can have an edge on them when they're drunk. That's not pleasant. An edge on them when they're drunk, that's not pleasant. Some people are very nice and calm and sweet when they're drunk.

21:15
I want to share with you that my grandfather said that his rabbi on Purim was drunk on the floor and the only thing that came out of his mouth were words of Torah, the only things that came out. He was completely an embodiment of Torah. The fact that he didn't have a census just brought that Torah like oozing out of him. That's what we aspire to be Not to be wild, not to be crazy, not to be inappropriate, not to say things that we typically wouldn't say because it's not okay. So now we can say whatever we want. No, a person has to be very, very careful.

21:56
A person is defined by how they act when they're drunk. So the Talmud tells us that a person is defined by three measures bikiso, koso, vikaso how they are when they give charity, how they give charity, vikoso, how they are when they're drunk and how they are when they're angry. And all of these have a kiso, is a pocket right. These things, when they overflow, it determines how you know. When a person gives from his pocket, when a person overflows his charity giving, when a person gives from his pocket, when a person overflows his charity giving, when a person overflows his cup and when a person overflows his anger Usually we need to contain our anger when it overflows, how do we act? And all of these are determining, defining how a person is characterized. Okay, number 20.

22:49
Even one who does not drink to that extent should at least drink a little bit more than the usual amount to celebrate the great miracle. Some have the custom to sleep on Purim day, as this would fulfill the requirement as well. What's the requirement? To not know the difference between blessed is Mordechai and cursed is Haman. That you won't either know when you're sleeping. So some people have the custom to take a little nap.

23:15
If one knows that by getting drunk, he will be lax in any mitzvah blessing or prayer, God forbid or he will come to frivolity, it is preferred for such a person not to become intoxicated. Okay. So if you know that by getting drunk, we're going to turn it to side two now. If you know that by getting drunk, inappropriateness will come to the surface, it's best not to get drunk. Okay, there's no mitzvah. Getting drunk, inappropriateness will come to the surface. It's best not to get drunk. Okay, there's no mitzvah. Okay, I'll just tell you my grandfather did not like drunk people. He did not like drunk people and I remember I have a picture of me giving my grandfather a kiss when I was drunk. He didn't like it much. Okay, so I'll just tell you that. Okay. So it's the.

24:12
A mourner, even during the seven days of mourning, should fulfill the mitzvah of Purim. However, one should not send Mishloach Manos to a mourner during their mourning period unless they are the only person in the area to receive Mishloach Manos. So if a person lives in a little village, there are only two families and one of the families is in mourning for a lost parent, which would be 12 months of mourning right, or you know other relationships would be 30 days During that period of time you're not supposed to give them Mishloach Manos. But if they're the only one there, then you can. If the mourner is poor, they may be the recipient of the matanos levionim, of the gift to the poor, number 23.

25:02
Since Purim is like Shabbos with regard to activities, regular labors are permitted, such as writing, driving, driving and phone usage. So on Purim day you can do regular labors, just like you can again if it's on a weekday. However, one should avoid work and business affairs on Purim as no blessing comes from such labor. You try to cut a business deal on Purim. It's not no blessing involved in it. It's just like Pol Hamoyd. Pol Hamoyd is the intermediary days between in the holidays of Sukkot and Pesach, intermediary days. There's no blessing.

25:42
But one may perform loss-preventing work so long as it does not diminish the Purim festivities. So what is loss-preventing work? So long as it does not diminish the perm festivities. So what is loss-preventing work If you have a leak? Right, if you don't fix the leak, it's going to ruin the rest of your house. You got to fix that. So that is something that is loss-preventing. If you're going to lose a client or something like that, that could be a great loss. Or if there's, sometimes people ask the question what's if there's a one-day sale and by not buying that item on that day you'll lose the sale? So you'll lose money. But that's loss preventing. Again, got to be careful. Don't try to trick the system. There's no blessing on endeavors that are done on that day. That are business endeavors and therefore one should be cautious.

26:34
A non-Jew may do work on behalf of a Jewish partner. So if you have a partnership with a non-Jew, you say, okay, I'm not going to do work in my cafe on Purim Day, but can my non-Jewish partner do the work? Yes, he can. For him there is no obligation not to Okay.

26:52
The 15th of Adar, the day after Purim, is called Shushan Purim, as we discussed previously, and it is proper to celebrate on this day in a smaller way, like we mentioned in our last halacha segment when we discussed chapter 25, simeon 25, tachnon L. We discuss chapter 25, simon 25, tachnon l'manatzeach and keller hachapayim are not sorry are omitted on shushan porim as well. Eulogies and fasting are prohibited too. However, al-anisim, which is recited on porim only, is not recited on shushan Purim. Since the Megillah is not read on Shushan Purim, it is permitted to make weddings on that day when Megillah is read.

27:39
It would intermingle two joyous occasions, and we know Ein Ma'arav in Simcha b'simcha. We don't combine two joyous occasions together, all right. Each joyous occasion is independent on its own. You don't combine two joyous occasions together, all right. Each joyous occasion is independent on its own. You don't make two weddings together of two siblings. You do them a week or two apart. You don't intermingle two celebrations. You have one, you do it properly, and then you do the second, okay, and then finally, oh, two more In a leap year. On the 14th and 15th of Adar Aleph, of the first Adar, they carry a slight element of joy and therefore no Tachnol HaMetzach or Kelach HaPaymer is cited and no eulogies and no fasting are permitted. Then either, on the 14th of Adar Aleph, on the 14th of the first Adar, it is proper to have a larger than usual meal to celebrate that special day.

28:34
Okay, my dear friends, are there any questions regarding these laws before we go into the ask away segment Next? Yes, sir. Okay, so should one pursue business endeavors the days around Purim? Why not? Purim itself is a day. That's like a holiday. On holidays we don't work, you know. We don't do creative labor. We do again. We could do our regular driving a car and using our phone, turning on lights and turning them off on Purim. So long as it's not Shabbos, but business we don't do on that day, surrounding days, it shouldn't be a problem.

29:19
On the contrary, in the month of Adar it's a time of great blessing for the Jewish people. Great things happen to the Jewish people in the month of Adar, a time of unbelievable blessing. Blessing and the person should. In fact, it says that if a person has a court case with a non-Jew, schedule it for the month of Adar, because the Jews have good luck in this month. If it's in the month of Av, change the date, because that's a time the Jewish people have terrible luck during those days. Adar is a time the Jewish people have terrible luck during those days. Adar is a time of great fortune.

29:53
Yes, yes, the idea is we give it amongst our people. We give Mishlach Manas to another Jewish person. You can give gifts to non-Jewish friends as well, but that's not fulfilling the mitzvah. Fulfillment of the mitzvah is giving to a fellow Jew and to add the love and the friendship among our people, it's the same with charity. Yes, to fulfill the mitzvah of Matanos, lev Yonman has to be to a Jewish poor person. Yes, no, it's.

30:29
The entire city of Jerusalem celebrates Shushan Purim. In fact, my son, perhaps my sons, who live in Israel now what they do is many yeshiva boys. They go out of Jerusalem for the first day of Purim and then they go into Jerusalem the second day of Purim and they got two days of Purim. They got to party two days. So that's very, very common that people do that, particularly yeshiva students who have the energy for it. But it is, yeah, it's, legitimate again.

31:06
But you have to make sure that you don't start your day outside of Jerusalem, because then that could be problematic. Once you're there as part of the day, then you can't suddenly convert over to the other location. It means celebrate in one, make sure you get to the other before the other one begins Well. In Jerusalem there was a walled city. In Jericho was a walled city. I believe Hebron was a walled city. I believe Hebron was a walled city. So those cities that were walled at the time when Joshua conquered Israel falls into the category of walled cities, but not other places, Right? So in America it's always the 14th. It was the 14th Tehavadar, correct? We always observe it on the 14th day of Adar, not on Shushan Purim. Shushan Purim is only. There is some element of joy, but we don't observe Purim on Shushan Purim, only on Purim itself. Outside, in the diaspora, outside of Israel in general, it's always the 14th day of Adar that is celebrated for Purim.

32:13 - Intro (Announcement)
Yes.

32:15 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
No, on Shabbos we're not permitted even loss-preventing work Okay. On Shabbos, we're not permitted any type of labor, any type of creative labor. On Shabbos is prohibited. On Purim where it's a weekday, it's an ordinary weekday. Loss-preventing work is okay, but not creative work, not new business. Don't sign deals, don't sign contracts. On Purim itself Again, we're limited in our blessing on a holiday for those kinds of things. We have tremendous blessing within, but don't try to do new things. All right, my dear friends online, thank you so much for joining us. We are going to start a new segment now of Ask Away, so we're going to open up the floor to questions here that will be released later on in the week. Thank you, my dear friends, and have a fabulous week. Thank you for joining us.

33:03 - Intro (Announcement)
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