Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection

00:03 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, Texas. This is the Parsha Review Podcast.

00:12 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back. Good morning everybody. It's so wonderful to be here with everyone. Atem Nitzavim this week's Parsha is Parsha's Nitzavim and the portion begins with Atem Nitzavim. You are standing today, hayom. You are standing today. You're standing today, all of you Before Hashem, your God, your heads Of your tribes, your elders, your officers, all of the people of Israel. So there's a lot that's going on in this week's parasha. It's very interesting that this week's parasha always precedes Rosh Hashanah and not the previous portion. The previous portion of Ki Tavo has 100 minus 2. It's very interesting.

01:04
Our sages don't? They know how to count, they know numbers, right, but it's not 98. It's 100 minus 2 curses, right. It's very interesting why our sages do that, and many times we see this, for example, with the laws of Shabbat, it's 40 minus 1 and the lashes 40 minus 1. What's going on here with all these numbers, and why do they change the way the numbers are going? So, either way, there's a reason for it, because there are two more curses that are mentioned in a different portion that are included as part of the 100. So the 98 are mentioned in the previous portion.

01:39
Now, what are these curses? We know if someone who curses their father and mother. They're cursed. Someone who hurts somebody else, someone who curses their father and mother, they're cursed. Someone who hurts somebody else, someone who tricks somebody, someone who puts a stumbling block in front of a blind and you know these. What does it mean? A blind? It means someone who's not able to see clearly. Now, it doesn't only mean that because their eyes are affected maybe their mind is affected, or they're just not able to have clarity they come to ask you advice and give them bad advice. That's putting a stumbling block in front of a blind person. But then you have. So the curse is, we don't want them to be right next to Rosh Hashanah. So we have a portion between Ki Tavo and Rosh Hashanah.

02:16
What's that Nitzavim? What's Nitzavim? Or say, just tell us. Nitzavim means that you're standing in front of Hashem. When are we standing in front of Hashem? When we're in judgment on Rosh Hashanah. We all get judged on Rosh Hashanah.

02:27
But there's a story, an amazing story, that's told that someone once came to the great Chose of Lublin, the great sage, the luminary of Lublin, and he said you know, I'm a big criminal. I do a lot of crimes, I do a lot of sins. You know, I'm a big criminal, I do a lot of crimes, I do a lot of sins. You know it's coming Rosh Hashanah. What do I do? How do I cleanse myself of all of my sins?

02:53
So the Rebbe knew who he was talking to and he says to him I want you to make a promise that you'll only speak the truth, only speak the truth, and this will be your repentance. He's like Rabbi, you don't even know what I do, you don't know how bad it gets, you don't know how low I am. You think only the truth that will set me free. He says if you make the promise that you'll only say the truth, it will be your repentance. So indeed, he goes and he says to the rebbe he says I'm accepting that from now on, these lips will only speak the truth. I will only speak the truth. Okay, but habit is habit. And as soon as he leaves the rebbe's house, he says you know what? I'm going to go to the marketplace to pickpocket someone like I normally do. He said that the creature of habit. So what is he going to do? He's going to go there, so someone. He meets somebody on the way to the marketplace where he's going to start pickpocketing people and he says said someone, said this person asks him. He says where are you heading to? So he said I just made a commitment, I'm going to say the truth. So I have to say the truth, but I can't tell him that I'm going to pickpocket people. So he's in a dilemma. What is he going to do? So he decides you know what? I'm just going to go home. So he says I'm heading home. And he goes home and slowly he realized that by committing to absolute truth he was able to change his ways and distance himself completely from sin.

04:31
There is something so fundamental about truth that truth has the power to put us on the course of closeness with Hashem. Why? Because what's Hashem's name? We say Hashemkeichem Emet. At the end of the Shema we say Hashem, your God, hashem, our God, is truth. That's Hashem's signature, hashem's stamp, hashem's seal is truth, and if a person commits themselves to that truth, then everything is in it.

05:09
If you look at this week's Torah portion, it's amazing that we start off the portion with Atem. You meaning in plural, all of you Nitzavim Hayom, you're all standing in front of God. If you take the word atem and you realign the letters, it's the word emet, emet nitzavim hayom, you're going to be standing in front of God. The only thing that represents us in front of the Almighty is truth. Sometimes we think, oh, I'm going to be standing in front of God, I'll be able to say something a little bit different. I'll be able to say that I'm together with my friends. I'll be able to say All of you, the entire Jewish people. You have to know that every single one of us, we're all, going to be standing in front of the Almighty. And what is the only thing that we have in front of Hashem Emet is truth.

06:10
Truth has a tremendous power. Truth cuts through everything. You know, my rabbi used to share this idea and I've shared this here in our class many, many times. So forgive me if this is a a repetitious uh quote from my rabbi, but it's an amazing thing that at the end of our prayer of shema every morning, we say emet, and then we proclaim 15 different praises of god, 15. And each one starts with the letter of of.

06:47
There's a whole reason for that. What are they? Emet? God is truth, and God is firm and established and enduring and right and faithful and beloved and cherished and delightful and pleasant, awesome, mighty, perfect, accepted, good and beautiful. So the obvious question is if you look perfect, accepted, good and beautiful. So the obvious question is, if you look at the two ends the first and the 15th praise of Hashem the first is God is truth and the 15th is God is beautiful. So my rabbi asked I don't understand. Shouldn't truth and beauty be one right next to the other? Shouldn't truth and beauty be attached to one another? Instead, they're on the polar opposite ends you have truth on one end and you have beauty on the other end. He said an amazing, an amazing lesson here.

07:41
Usually what's true is not beautiful and what's beautiful is not beautiful and what's beautiful is not true. You know there would be, there was the there's. You know, you wonder, there's some politicians that people love and some politicians people hate. For example I'm not going to get into politics, that's part of our policy here we don't get into politics but there was a time when there were certain presidents that people just loved. They spoke so eloquently, they spoke such beautiful words, for example, if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor and people were like, wow, this is an amazing thing. And we know it wasn't true. It was beautiful words, but it wasn't true. And then you have politicians who say things that are true. They're like it's so insensitive, it's so it's such not nice, it feels like it's crass. Yeah, but it's true. Yeah, but there may be a nicer way to say it. But truth isn't packaged with beauty.

08:40
If someone asks you, how do you like my tie, how do you like the tie? So there's two ways you can answer. You can answer the pretty way or you can answer the truthful way. The truthful way can be painful, it's not. You're ready to just say it's really an ugly tie. Right? That's the truth. You wanted to know the truth. I'll tell you the truth. But then you can say you know the nice way. You could say it's really nice and the way it's weaved and this and that, but that's not true, right? You understand that.

09:14
If someone you can my father, for example. May he live and be well. My father is a person who is a man of truth. If you ask him a question, you ask him his opinion, you will get the unfettered truth. It will be straight, it will be without any, without any apology. It will be sharp and it'll be true. You're not going to get beautiful out of him, you'll get true out of him.

09:44
And then there are people who'll say all the nicest things in the world, but not a word is true, not a word. And we all know people like that. They're called politicians, right? They say the nicest words oh, it's amazing to see you, gary, oh, gary, look what a you know. And they don't mean a word of what they're saying. Not all politicians.

10:03
But we see that there is a certain virtue to the truth, notwithstanding how pretty it is. We see that Hashem, in His Torah, tells us the truth. Oh, but it hurts my feelings. It doesn't change the fact that it's true. And this is a very, very fundamental lesson for us. When we're approaching Rosh Hashanah, we have to take a hard look at ourselves. We have to take a hard look at our actions and we have to take a hard look at the things we've done right and the things we've done wrong and start taking an accounting and holding ourselves accountable with truth, with not being hypersensitive to ourselves and saying you know, it's okay because, really, and this, and that we start giving ourselves all of these you know niceties of how it's okay that we was this right or was this wrong. Sometimes people have a very, very difficult time committing to that truth. But the truth shall set you free. The truth, right?

11:09
There's a way to say the truth that's a little bit more delicate, a little bit more gentle. Like my daughter, you see, I'm not very. That's why I stopped wearing colored. I used to wear colored shirts and then I stopped because I was so bad with matching clothes that my wife was like you left the house looking like that, Like how can you, how can you do that? So I just stopped and I was like okay, white, everything matches with white and black. Or you know, I was like, okay, white, everything matches with white and black. Or you know, I was like so I was like that was that, was that. But I remember one time my daughter she was maybe like six years old and I asked her does this match? Like does this tie in this? So she said to me, in the nicest way, she says I think there's a tie that matches better, right, which is a very nice way to say no, that's an awful match. You don't know what you're doing.

11:57
So there is a pleasant way to say that truth, but that pleasantness should never take away from the truth. You should never. Someone asks you, you should never say. It doesn't mean you have to hurt their feelings. It doesn't mean you have to. Oh, in the name of truth, I don't care what's in the way I'm going to insult people. No, a person has to be sensitive to other people and a person has to try to find a way to not hurt somebody. But in so doing, perhaps there's a way to say it that doesn't scar, that doesn't stab someone. Doesn't scar, that doesn't stab someone. This is always a trap question that I get from husbands. My wife asks me how she looks in a dress. What should I tell her when I don't think it looks so pretty? So there's a thousand ways to say it wrong and there's a thousand ways to say it right, to say it correctly.

12:52
I once did a very unscientific survey. I was teaching a women's class and I asked the women if you cook dinner and it was not to your husband's liking, do you want them to tell you or do you not want them to tell you? A hundred percent of the women said the following answer A hundred percent. I want him to tell me if he didn't like it. I want him to tell me if it wasn't good. And they all added but he better be careful how he says it. Okay, meaning it's not enough to have the truth. It's not enough to have the truth, but there needs to be a proper way to say that truth, not to God forbid insult someone, not to hurt someone, and we have to be. Yeah, you want to know the truth? I'll tell you the truth. Yeah, but there's a right way to do it.

13:50
We see that Moshe reprimands the Jewish people. He's telling them the truth of their mistakes, but he says it in a very cautious, gentle way. He says it in a way that it's not going to be slapped in your face You're such horrible people. Look at the terrible things you've done. No, he says you know, we traveled here and we traveled there in a way that if you paid attention carefully, you'll hear the criticism, you'll hear the truth of what he's saying.

14:20
But he didn't stab them publicly. He didn't hurt them in a way that they were inconsolable, and a person needs to be cautious about this. A person needs to know that. Yes, and to our children as well, by the way. We need to be careful when we talk to our children. Yes, it's true what I'm saying, and, as a parent, we're obligated to guide our children, I'm saying, and as a parent, we're obligated to guide our children, but they have feelings too, and when we hurt them it could be very deep, because we're the people they trust, we're the people that they rely on for safety, for security, and if we don't provide that, then it could be very, very painful for them.

15:02
This is something we can learn from this week's parasha. Atem emes emes the same letters as emes Atem nitzavim hayom. With truth, you can stand in front of Hashem, with truth we can stand in front of God and we can hopefully have good judgment. And in this week's parasha as well, we see that Moshe tells the Jewish people he says here I'm about to die and here is the one mitzvah you need. What's that mitzvah? The mitzvah of teshuva. The mitzvah of teshuva is the mitzvah. We need to ensure that we're close to Hashem, because tshuva brings us, brings us to a recognition, to a clarity of that emes, of that truth, and when we are able to, without fear, face our truth and we're able to look in the mirror.

16:02
I shared this story recently. I'm still. It's a story that I know for many, many years, at least over 10 years, maybe 15 years. I have a dear, dear friend of mine who is now clean over 30 years from alcohol, and he actually gave me a book that I have. I cherish this book. It's the Alcoholics Anonymous book. Thank God I don't have addictions. I'm addicted to Hashem and to Torah. But he gave me this book and it's very, very meaningful because to him, this is his life, this is his Bible.

16:40
And I asked him, I said tell me, how did you stop? Like, what triggered it? Like what was the deciding factor that made that change for you? And it wasn't only alcohol, other things that were. You know what he said. He says I one time, by mistake, saw myself in the mirror and everything stopped. He saw himself in the mirror. You see, sometimes we like to hide from ourselves, but when we look in the mirror, you know what we see. We see potential, we see what we're capable of, we see our future. And he, by mistake, looked in the mirror and saw himself and he's like you're selling yourself cheap. You have so much potential and this is how you're letting yourself fall. That truth was facing him straight in the eyes, steering at him, and he couldn't handle it. He said I can't.

17:50
When we prepare for our Shoshana and Yom Kippur the 10 days of repentance leading to Yom Kippur. What we need is a hard look in the mirror that we can say to ourselves I can do better than that. I'm selling, I can convince the entire world that everything is okay, but when I look at that mirror, is that okay? Are you really okay with who you are? Or maybe for everybody else? Everybody thinks you're great, but maybe I'm selling myself short. Maybe I can do so much more. Maybe if I believed in myself a little bit more, like God believes in me, maybe I could produce more.

18:35
Because, mark, you know why you're in this world today. You know why God gave you a beautiful day today to be alive. Because God believes the world cannot exist without you. Because God believes that the world needs Mark today. Ah, god believes that the world needs me and I don't believe that I'm worthy. I don't believe that I can produce something special. Today. We have to feel a sense of responsibility and we have to be motivated by that responsibility, saying, yes, I'm going to make a change in my life. Yes, I'm going to come to Rosh Hashanah, I'm going to be a different person and I'm going to present my case and say you know what? I made some mistakes. I'm going to own up to them and I'm changing for the future. This truth will set us free. My dear friends, have a magnificent Shabbos.

19:30 - Intro (Announcement)
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