Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection

00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Director of TORCH, the Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

00:12 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back everybody. Welcome. Tonight we are going to study the gate of regret. Now there are many people who live their entire life with regret. Oh, I regret this.

00:23
I regret that and, as we have seen in our study of the ways of the righteous, an incredible book of Orchos Tzaddikim, it shows us so many different traits. I think this is the 11th trait that we've been discussing and, as we will see, every single trait, like the one we spoke last week of worry, worry is a terrible thing. Worry is a very evil trait. However, there is a worry which is good, which is positive. Same thing with regret. While regret is a trait that is frowned upon by our Torah and by our sages, however, there is a regret which is a good regret, and we'll see that in one moment. So let's begin. We're on page 433, day number 73. Ha-charota the regret. Hu she'osa adam davar v'chozer bo misnachim al ha-maaseh. If one does something and later wishes that he had not done so, that's actually a very good thing for repentance. Okay, you have to have.

01:36
Part of the process of repentance is having regret. You don't regret. Did you regret what you did? No, I don't regret. So what are you saying? I'm sorry. What are you asking forgiveness if you don you regret what you did? No, I don't regret. So what are you saying? I'm sorry. What are you asking forgiveness if you don't regret what you did? It's the same thing that you go to a judge after you get a speeding ticket and he says, okay, I'm willing to take off your offense, but only if, only, if you regret it. And then they say, no, I don't regret it. Oh, the problem, it's a big problem. Okay, so it is done.

02:20
It is of great value in terms of repentance, or if one commits a sin and then regrets it, it is as if he has not sinned. Our sages tell us that anyone who sins and later regrets performing that sin, but sincere regret, such a person will have that sin be completely erased. Gam ha-tefillah, so too, with prayer. Einu mikubeles, zulasi acharato. Prayer is not accepted unless one has regret for one's sins. Ki ech yivakesh slach, lanu avinu kichotanu.

03:02
In our silent prayer that we recite three times a day, part of it is that we say God forgive us for we have sinned. Why are we asking forgiveness if we have no regret? So part of our prayer demands that we have regret. If a person doesn't have any type of regret for their sin, for any mistake. Now we have to remember one thing, just as an introduction to this there's nobody who's perfect. Moses, the holiest man to ever live. Moses sin too. Remember when he hit the rock instead of speaking to the rock to bring forth water, so he was punished for that.

03:56
Every person, as the Talmud tells us, as the Torah tells us, adam sinned. There's no man who is righteous that has done no sin. Okay, but I want to be perfect. We all strive for perfection. How do we attain that perfection? Well, step in the right direction is to have regret.

04:21
Imagine you've sinned before the king and now the king is ready to punish you and you ask for forgiveness. Imagine you ask for forgiveness from the king and the king says okay, and now you do the same sin again. Why? Because you never had regret. You were playing with the king, you didn't really mean it. Ba'da yichas alava melech yoser. The king will be even more angry that now you have sinned for a second time, meaning a person who really has regret, anybody who's married for more than 20 minutes. Now, you make a mistake, right, you make a mistake. Okay, so we all make mistakes, but there's a difference if you apologize and have zero regret, or apologize and have regret, because if you have regret, you will do everything you can to ensure that it doesn't happen again. If someone comes in front of the king and says, god, please forgive me again. If someone comes in front of the king and says, god, please forgive me, I made a mistake, I'm seeking atonement, and then we go do it again because we didn't really regret, we just said words no Yimu evet enu meschorat belibo v'chozev rosa asirachon v'cholyom v'adayichasol avamelach yoseh L'chein mi shegoz alabrios. Likewise, if one steals and then comes to the king every day to ask for forgiveness and now steals again and again, asking for forgiveness when you have no regret is even more severe. What are you asking forgiveness for? Therefore, it is important for a person to have regret and then you can pray and then you can have a confession with the Almighty.

06:29
In the Jewish religion, right, we don't confess in front of any person. I had once a student in the class said Rabbi, I need to confess. I told him sorry, wrong religion. We don't confess in front of a rabbi, we confess directly. In Judaism, we cherish that we have a direct relationship with God, with no intermediary. There's no conduit through which we communicate to God, we talk directly, and if someone indeed has regret and prays and repents and resolves to not repeat it, such a person, their prayers will be accepted lovingly. Avala, osa, tova muskaret.

07:13
However, doing good and regretting it, regretting the good deed you did a kind deed, you gave charity, you helped someone out, and then they didn't thank you properly, you say, oh, I shouldn't have done that. No, that's a terrible thing. A person should never regret doing a kind deed. Zos hi, midora ameo, that kind of regret is a bad regret. L'chein tzorach, sheti zoyer, you need to be very, very careful. Shalot, yizchar et ha'otovos. Don't ever regret doing a good thing. Don't ever regret it. I'll tell you something. So I try to never say no when people ask me for a favor, and sometimes I get the feeling like the Yetzirah.

07:58
Our evil inclination wants me to regret it. So one time I lent out my car Someone needed to go give someone a ride to the airport come right back, comes back and something's not working. You know, you get one of those error messages on your dashboard. You know like, you see, should never lend out my car again, because every time I lend it out it comes back dirty. They don't do this, they don't do that. They bang. They ding the car here, they ding the car there, there.

08:30
Whatever it may be, is that an act of kindness? Is an act of kindness, only kind, only something that I'm willing to do if it doesn't affect me. Perhaps God is testing us, maybe they did nothing wrong. God just put that sign on your dashboard just to see how you're going to love your act of kindness, that, even if it doesn't come back in the condition that you had planned and hoped for, that you'll say you know what, I don't regret doing the mitzvah, I don't regret doing the beautiful deed of loving kindness. I'm not going to regret it.

09:12
You gave that big donation and they didn't make the big announcement at their gala. They were hoping oh, and we want to thank our biggest contributor tonight, mark, for giving this massive donation. Right, I can't believe it. They're so ungrateful. They didn't give me that acknowledgement. You know what? That's the true act of kindness? The true act of kindness is when you have no regrets. I did the right thing. Why did I do it? Not for recognition. I did it so that I can help. They didn't give me the recognition. They didn't. It's not going to change my desire to do the good deed, the good action, because if, in the minute, you regret doing your good deed, you lose the reward too.

10:01
The Talmud tells us if you gave charity to the poor, what happens? If you go and you give charity to someone, a poor person comes to your house. They knock on the door. They say, please help me, I don't have food to feed my family. So you give them whatever donation is that's appropriate for you, for your income, for your status. Something that can assist them, can help them. The Torah teaches us that anybody who stretches out their hand in need, you help them. You give them charity and then something comes up Either they badger you, they want more, they're asking you again. And the next day they see you in synagogue and they ask you again and you're like can you stop bothering me? Oh, I regret giving him. I regret, right. People can have that. People can say that it's tragic if people do, why you don't want to lose the reward, the great reward that is reserved for you.

11:06
It says such doing speaking or doing something today and regretting it tomorrow, or not abiding by what one has said. Someone makes a pledge and then regrets giving that pledge, so he doesn't want to fulfill that pledge. Such a regret is a really terrible, terrible trait to have regret of doing or committing to a good act, regret of doing or committing to a good act. And even though it is good to regret evil, it is better to make it unnecessary for one to change from custom to custom and from trait to trait. You make a commitment, follow through, do it, keep it.

12:20
A person starts a new custom, a good custom. Let's say, we talked before going live. We talked about people who commit seven and a half years to studying 2,711 folios of Talmud. We have the whole set of the Talmud. We have two sets of Talmud over here in the room. Really amazing, a lot of study. Oh, I regret starting. Oh, can't believe it. Now it's a commitment. Every morning I got to do this, I got to get out of bed.

12:52
Oh, a person should never regret doing a good, a good act, a good conduct. A person should think of everything that he says and everything that he does to stick to it, to make it a habit. A person should not jump around, should not skip around from one custom to another custom. Stick to your custom. Stick to the things that are good that you accepted upon yourselves and commit and stick to it. Someone who jumps around is constantly jumping from thing to thing. A person should have a stability. Don't regret your good deeds. Don't regret your good actions. V'hu'niv z'lifne'a olam afilu imu kofetz me'mid tov le'mid tova ki ein ma'moshus be'in yano ve'ein lismoch alav. You need to be dependable and reliable, also in your actions. Don't regret. Now I want to address something before we continue to day number 74.

14:02
Very, very big thing that I hear from people is that they have regrets. Oh, I regret that I didn't do this earlier in my life. I regret that I didn't do that. I regret that I didn't buy more crypto. I regret people constantly regretting, and that's a terrible way to live life. You want to be depressed. Start regretting. You know what you have to do. Use your regret as a springboard to do something new today, not one day. One day I'll get to a point. One day I'll give charity. You know when. That one day is Today. You regret something of the past. Make a commitment today to change it. Oh, I regret that I didn't learn all the Torah yet. So when are you going to start? One day, when I'm 65 years old, I'll have time.

14:54 - Intro (Announcement)
No today.

14:56 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Oh, I should have read more business books. I should have read more books about investment. I should have read more books about organization. I should have read more books about kindness. I should have read more books about organization. I should have read more books about kindness. I should have read whatever it is about oil and gas trading, stock trading right, that's your industry. I should have learned more.

15:15
Guess what? Today is that day. You can wait for tomorrow. It's never going to happen and you're committed to success. You will utilize that regret to spring you into action immediately. Regret has one virtue, and that virtue is to change the minute that is in front of you from the minute that is behind you. That's the power of regret. But if someone just sulks all day from the minute that is behind you, that's the power of regret. But if someone just sulks all day, oh, woe, woe is to me. I can't believe it. They fired me from my job. You know what? Pick yourself up and start over again. I regret something. Don't live in the regret. Don't live in the past. Use it for the future.

16:07 - Intro (Announcement)
You've been listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe on a podcast produced by TORCH, the Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston. Please help sponsor an episode so we can continue to produce more quality Jewish content for our listeners around the globe. Please visit torchweb.org to donate and partner with us on this incredible endeavor.