Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection

Welcome back everybody. My name is Rabbi Ari Wolbe and we are resuming the 48 ways way number four Way number one was with study way number two is with listening Way number three is with speaking and articulating the things that we learn and way number four is with understanding of the heart Bibi not to live Does knowing something mean That you live by it We know all too frequently we have Contradictions in the sense that we
Know that there are foods. We shouldn't eat. We want to diet. We want to be healthy and Yet we eat them. Anyway, we know that there's a speed limit We're not supposed to exceed the speed limit and yet sadly sometimes people do we know that there are mitzvahs that we should perform and We don't necessarily perform them or perform them appropriately So, how do we get to a point where we have our mind which knows things and our heart that is the seat of action
To be on the same page So the first thing we need to understand is the power of the heart is the heart when you put something into your heart You're putting it into action We are all creatures of habit and this is the trait of breaking habits Way number four is about breaking habits when you put things into your heart You're preparing yourself to spring into action Don't do things because you've always done it do it because you want to do it
Because it means something to you because you've made a decision to do it not because well that's why I've done it because my parents are doing this or I Vote a certain way because my parents or my grandparents voted Know why you do things not to do things out of habit or rote, but with intention Do it with kavana kavana is with feeling with connection It makes a huge difference in how we operate when we do things with intention
When I was about 20 years old, I went to visit Memphis, Tennessee on a summer program and I met this family I arrived on a Thursday and their whole Shabbos table was set and Friday afternoon when I came back to the house They were all sitting on the couch waiting for Shabbos and this is three four hours before Shabbat It was the most beautiful thing. You see they were
Relatively new to Shabbat observance and they were so excited about it. It meant so much to them. They couldn't wait for it and I looked at myself. I said I've been observant of Shabbat my entire life and I've never once been that excited or prepared for Shabbat and It was a big wake-up moment where I was a creature of habit I was Observant by habit. That's the way I grew up They were observant by meaning by purpose
It really had a huge impact on me at that stage of my life and and since then to not do things out of habit You do a mitzvah do it for the right reason Connect to it get to a deeper. Don't just be a robot That's not what the Almighty wants from us We see this many times in in the halakha the halakha the Talmud will tell us teach us this God wants the intention meaning give an example if
You're able to pray a lot, but not understand anything or pray a little but understand everything and feel it and connect with it God wants you to do less with more intention than do more with less intention Uttering words without feeling them are pointless And they're meaningless. All right, you say I love you to someone and you don't mean it. It's it it's it's pointless Be a real person stop and ask yourself. Why am I doing this? You can know the truth if you look honestly into yourself
If we know we mentioned this in one of the previous ways Ish kefi mahalolo Look at what a person praises and you'll know who they are. You'll know what their values are The mouth is the messenger of the heart if someone values truth if someone values kindness if someone values Goodness, then that's what they will praise if someone has God forbid other values Which are not good, then that's what they're going to be praising
Look at what someone praises look what someone looks up to and that's what you'll see who they are Emotions are powerful forces of greatness and we need to know them and we need to harness them the contrast between the intellect the mind and the emotion the heart is The mind knows right wrong good bad The heart sometimes gets carried away and says, you know, I know this is the wrong thing But and we give all these reasons which are emotional reasons that draw us away from doing the right thing
It's very important for a person particularly, you know, if you have teenagers It's sometimes one of the they know that something is right or and or wrong But it doesn't mean that they're going to do it or not do it Because they know it and that's an exercise for a person to work their entire lives. This is a challenge it doesn't get easier to Combine the heart and mind to be in the same place
Our emotions are powerful forces of greatness. We have to know them and we have to harness them Identify your problems. It's the beginning of solving them. Don't be afraid of finding out who you really are you can't afford to wait too long to get to know yourself because you are the most fascinating person you will ever meet and Sooner you get to know yourself this one and you know what you may find things about yourself about your character that aren't exactly exemplary and aren't
The perfect image that you want to be but you know what God gave it to you so that you can perfect it God gave it to you so that you can fix it and bring it to bring this person to their completion to their perfection If you don't get it straight now, you're bound to make some big bad mistakes and Sometimes those mistakes can mean spending our entire lives going down the wrong track. I've met an
Individual who was in his late 60s and he was crying to me telling me where were you 40 years ago? 50 years ago if I would have met you 45 50 years ago. My life would have been different I would have focused on different things instead of focusing on my career on my Livelihood I would have focused on building a family on on a few future generations And now what am I left with? I have a good career. I have a good job, but I don't have a family and
He was upset and sad and it's it's it's devastating to see someone like that We have free will We have to use that free will as a conscious tool for living better The the mind is so powerful because we can change our Our the way we see life if we're able to connect our heart with that mind We know yeah Some people have troubles with their health Some people have troubles with their with their career with their children with their spouse
But if our heart is if our mind is determined to we're gonna overcome this and we put our heart with it We're able to combine the two and be a tremendous force, but not to separate the two and then we're pulled in all different directions many times parents Live vicariously through their children and they force their kids to careers and lifestyles that they don't want I met a friend who is a neurologist and he told me he says you don't you don't have a clue
He says I am miserable every single day. I hate my job. I hate my career He'd prefer he even said I would prefer working for the sanitation department in New York City than doing what I do I said, but you're a doctor and you're helping people. He says but this is not what I wanted to do So this is what my parents wanted me to do And that's that's a really sad Statement that someone whose parents wanted to be doctors weren't
Made their children their child particularly this child be a doctor because they weren't and he's miserable So obviously I'd recommend that he get the help he needs to find peace with his situation But it's not a great place for a person to be living their life Unhappy if you know what you're about, you won't let others bother you. They won't let others control you You won't let others take hold of your greatness When you know when you're when you're firm with who you are
Then you won't let other people Take you down if you're angry or upset track it down. What's the root of this anger? What's the root of me being upset and go to that root and fix it? If you're acting illogically at least acknowledge it to yourself Don't live with regret. This is a very important principle. We actually talked about this Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur time the high holidays that regret has only one positive purpose and the purpose of regret is only For us to improve our lives
But if we use regret to just feel bad about ourselves and knock ourselves down It's not gonna it's not gonna do us any good. Don't live with regret Use it to propel you forward to be better Now know your tools you got to know yourself and you have to know what you're made of if you gave an Electrician the tools of a dentist and vice versa. They won't be able to do their job every person Every tradesman needs to have the right tools to do their job well
guess what your gifts and your traits that you have nobody else has and Trying to be like someone else means you're trying to use their tools for you and that doesn't work Sometimes our emotion gets to us. We're like I want to have a house like them I want to have children like them and I want to have a marriage like them and I want to guess what that's not you You have to know you and you have to be you
Some of the ways that you can we can get down to the bottom of this is asking ourselves Am I lazy why am I disorganized? Why do I get angry when? Do I ever get defensive about what? What makes me jealous? What makes me arrogant? Do I have trouble making decisions? Why do I lack self-discipline? Do I lack self-confidence? Why don't I take more initiative? These are very important questions and we have to always remember that the key to sanity is letting truth in
You have to let the truth in and the minute we let it in and we figure out what's going on here Then we were at peace with ourselves and we're able to propel ourselves forward in a successful way Because at least we were in touch with who we are and the minute we are in touch with who we are we're able to go great places, so let's take this trade of understanding of the heart and really connect with our essence and Combine our heart and mind to become one